Blood Moon
by Void-senpai
Summary: After losing Edward & a traumatic encounter with James, Bella is trying to move on with her life. Her greatest source of comfort is her friendship with Jacob, who has dragged her back into that world. With Victoria back for her revenge & some strange new feelings emerging, Bella & Jacob will have to rebuild their lives somewhere between fantasy & reality. Future lemons
1. Chapter 1: A Bad Apology

The last few weeks had been stressful for Bella Swan. Though the winter break was fast approaching, so were finals, and a tumultuous personal life was a luxury she couldn't afford. The pain of Edward's departure, which had finally eased into faint, intermittent ache, was replaced with a hard punch in the gut. She'd been spending too much time in bed since Jacob had broken off their friendship, but the bigger news was worse: Her nightmares were real, Victoria was back in Forks, and there were more monsters.

She thought that she had finally left that life behind. No more secrets. No more lying. No more danger. She could be a normal high school student again, planning for college and the weekend instead of eternity. And yet here she was, slowly processing Jacob's transformation into another snarling beast. A new set of responsibilities were pulling him away from her. Other people needed him, and she had taken for granted that he would always be there. The members of the pack were nice enough, and she couldn't hold any of this against them. That is of course, except one.

She woke to a tapping sound on the window, like the beginnings of a rainstorm, but rhythmic. It grew louder and more persistent. Hail couldn't be that uncommon in Washington, she supposed, but it was the wrong time of year. She roused herself enough to turn on the lamp and pull back the drapes. She peered down to find a tall figure looking up at her. Instead of the pale redhead that still haunted her nightmares, that familiar face was looking up at her.

"Bells!"

He had a lot of nerve showing up here after that afternoon. If she hadn't walked into the garage at that moment, how long would he have tried to keep this from her? Sam was just as guilty, but it was Jake's silence that hurt the most. Begrudgingly, she wrenched the window open.

"Jake!" she whispered hoarsely, her throat still sore from crying. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk. To apologize. Can I come up?"

She frowned. "Aren't you supposed to be holding up a boombox when you do that?"

"Bells, come on-"

"No, seriously. Let me go get John Cusack on the phone. Maybe he can give you a few pointers."

"Can I come up or not?" he sighed, somewhat exasperated

"Ok, but you need to be quiet about it because Charlie-"

Before she could finish, he was already scaling the tree outside her window. He swung through the opening like a trapeze artist, landing on the wood floors with a thud that she was sure would wake her father. She didn't need the Forks chief of police to find a boy in her room at all hours of the night.

He had grown since she saw him last. Was that even possible? He felt taller, and more muscular, though it could have been the way the misty rain accentuated the lines chiseled into his body. She wondered if this newfound bulk was part of his powers as a new member of the pack, or if Sam just kept them to a strict gym regimen. His russet skin glowed in the lamplight, along with the fresh tattoo on his shoulder.

"Shh!" she hissed.

He stifled a laugh. Bella held up a finger to shush him, but it was too late. A high pitched creaking echoed up the stairs, followed by slow, heavy footsteps.

"Great, now you've done it.

She grabbed him by the wrist and shoved him onto the floor beside the bed and jumped under the duvet. She should have put him in the closet. He probably wouldn't fit anymore.

The light above the stairs began to creep in through the ever-growing crack in the door, and Charlie's head appeared.

"Bella?" Charlie whispered. "You okay?"

"Yeah sorry, Dad," she replied nonchalantly. "One of my textbooks fell off the bed. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Well, a book definitely beats the alternative. Just don't study too hard, alright? You still gotta sleep."

"I won't. I promise. Just a few more minutes and I'll call it a night."

"Alright," he replied. "G'night, Bella."

"Night, Dad."

He closed the door behind him, drowsily thumping back down the stairs. She listened carefully for the sound of his bedroom door before jumping out of bed again. She leaned over the side of the bed to see Jacob snickering as if he had pulled off some prank.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you. You just barely escaped getting shot."

He rolled his eyes, making her throw a pillow in his face, more annoyed than before. He raised up his hands in defeat, his goofy smile still lingering on his lips. He seemed contrite, but that wouldn't stop her from giving him an earful.

"Just letting you know that this apology isn't going very well," she said as Jacob got back on his feet.

"Sorry, I just didn't expect your dad to be checking up on you every time you make a noise." Her face darkened.

"Yeah, well, the nightmares have been pretty bad these last couple months. They _were_ getting better, but it still wakes him up sometimes." His smile disappeared, accompanied by an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry," he began.

"Sorry for what?"

"That you found out like that. I never wanted to hide it from you in the first place, but it wasn't my choice. I've been under strict orders from Sam that everything is on a need-to-know basis-"

"-And you didn't think that I needed to know that Victoria was back? Or why you changed? Or why they wanted you to bail on me? Jesus Christ, Jake.

It had been forever since she felt real anger. Her fists clenched as she tried to keep her voice down.

"I'm sick of being coddled. I think I have a right to know if someone is trying to murder me. I expect that crap from Charlie, but not from you."

He looked hurt by the accusation. His eyes moved to the floor, and his voice grew quiet. Oh no. She couldn't stand that look.

"I didn't bail on you, Bells," he said. "I could never..."

He was suddenly staring into her eyes as his voice trailed off. He quickly looked away.

"They have us patrolling the town and the rez every night. It seemed like you were doing better since the summer and I didn't want to undo any of that when we had the situation under control."

"Clearly, with the way dead hikers are piling up."

"That was the black-haired leech, and now he's a pile of ashes. Bells, Sam gave us an order, and I shou- can't disobey the alpha."

She pressed her lips into a hard line, wondering how to proceed. She wanted to be mad, but he was better at calming her down than Jasper ever was.

"Okay," she said, resolute. "Well you can tell Sam _I'm_ giving you an order this time."

"Oh, really?" he said, bemused.

"Yes, really," she said, unleashing a piercing look that seemed to cut right through his scoffing.

" _Never_ lie to me or hide things from me again. The only way this works is if we're honest with each other."

"'This'?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, 'this'. Us. Whatever. Pick a noun. Just don't lie to me, capiche?"

He nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. I'm glad that's settled.

He was smiling at her again, and the tension lifted from the room. He was probably misinterpreting her again. She really needed to work on her choice of words.

"So every night, huh?" She smiled back awkwardly.

"Yeah. We switch off to catch a little sleep. I barely have any time before school, lately. It's going to be harder to see you like we used to before...everything."

She felt herself take an involuntary step forward, as if the rest of her was ignoring what her brain had been telling her.

"I know. But we can figure it out, right? I mean, I don't want to add stuff to your plate-"

"-You're not my laundry, Bella," he said sternly. "You make all this easier. I'll just have to come up with something."

"You know," she started, "if you need a break sometime, you can always crash here for a bit..."

He took a step towards her, shortening the space between them, but her hand reached out stop him, landing on his naked torso. She glanced down at her hand, starting at his abs, her eyes traveling lower and lower to the v-shape etched downward from his hips. He'd grown up practically overnight, and it was very distracting. Of course he was attractive. She wasn't blind. It didn't mean anything.

She quickly realized that she had lingered there for far too long, and snapped her attention back to his face. She could feel the color rising in her cheeks.

"School," she blurted out.

"What?"

"Schoo-school night. I should hit the sack. You should too...you...delinquent."

He snorted and hugged her before turning to climb out the window.

"Night, Bells," he winked. Still red, she closed the window and collapsed into bed as he disappeared into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2: A Friday Night

The snow began drifting into Forks sometime in the night, as if a thin white blanket had been laid over every horizontal surface. The sun set early this far north, far earlier than it ever had in Arizona. She had never become accustomed to Daylight Savings, and the 4:30 sunsets, though beautiful in their own right, were still disconcerting.

She never liked being home alone, especially while she was growing up. Renee's late nights at work meant that Bella was alone more often that most kids, and more independent, but she never became accustomed to being home alone at night. The desert was still, dark, and quiet. Coyotes and rattlesnakes were the only serious hazards it had to offer, besides her habit of tripping on cacti. But Charlie's house groaned and creaked like an old man, and the wind howled and battered the siding with tree branches. The darkness of the nearby forest was impenetrable.

Since Bella learned the truth, Victoria had begun clawing her way into her nightmares again, and she seemed to taunt her in the daylight as well. Charlie had left for a fishing trip in the early hours of the morning, and wouldn't be back until late the next day. For the first time since moving to Forks, she would spend a night in the house completely alone, and with a murderous vampire only a stone's throw away. Every sound was her hands on the window, her footsteps, her voice, even though Bella knew that it was just the raccoons breaking into their trash again.

She sat by the window, watching the sun disappear behind the trees. The temperature was beginning to drop, and the snow showed no signs of slowing down. She reached over to grab her fuzzy green blanket, pulling it to her chin and tucking it under her toes to fend off the cold. The way the darkness was slowly enveloping the house made her anxious, and the waiting was making her fidget.

"Bells?" came a muffled voice.

In his usual fashion, Jake had appeared on the tree limb, but this was the first time he was fully dressed. She sat up and scrambled to open the window, relieved that he had finally arrived. In place of his usual cutoffs were a worn pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt that had clearly been purchased well before he joined the pack. He climbed inside as usual and grabbed her around the shoulders, pulling her in for a bear hug. She gasped from the sudden lack of air.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, suddenly loosening his hold on her. "I'm still getting used it."

"You know, we have a front door, too," she panted. "It's really nice. It has a bell and everything." She already feeling more at ease. That seemed to be Jake's other super power.

"Sorry, force of habit. But I brought food." He grinned.

In his hand were two large white paper sacks. They were dotted with brown stains that made them look almost transparent and they smelled like hot grease and orange.

"Chinese?" she asked. He knew her too well.

"Yep. I even got that terrible sugar-chicken thing you like and the crispy wonton strips."

"You're the perfect man," she said. Boy. Man. Man-boy? Whichever it was, there was still a big age gap between Jacob's mind and the rest of him.

"That's all it takes, huh? You're such a cheap date."

She ignored his teasing and walked over to the closet, reaching into the back and pulling out something wrapped in several plastic shopping bags.

"I grabbed us a little something else. I guess we'll find out how well it pairs with Chinese."

She reached inside, pulling out a large glass bottle bearing a white and gold label filled with a dark amber colored liquid and hoisted it up for him to see. His eyes widened.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked.

"Yep. I swiped it from Charlie. I figured it would be awhile before we got another opportunity like this."

He'd only ever had beer before, just the couple that Quil or Embry managed to swipe on one of those precious friday nights before they were dragged into the wolfpack by their ears. One or two was all it took before they were all ready to make asses of themselves, singing loudly along with the radio and scaring each other. Cheap beer in the woods with his friends was one thing, but liquor with her was another matter altogether. Maybe his new overactive metabolism would save him.

"He won't mind?" he asked.

"He doesn't have to know," she said with a sly smile.

"Well I think he's going to notice half his booze disappearing overnight."

"It's fine. I'll just water it down a bit to help make up the difference. And anyways, Dad owes me after a year of keeping him from starving to death. He even got through an entire month without a hot pocket. I don't know about you, but if I don't do something to decompress before finals I'm going to keel over."

"Come on." She waved the bottle in the air as she headed towards the door The stairs squeaked with every footstep down to the kitchen. "You remembered the dumplings, right?" she called.

"Of course. Dumplings are the best part."

He took a deep breath and followed her. When he arrived, she was already working on drinks. The bottle sat on the counter, already lower than before. She pulled a two liter bottle of Coke out of the refrigerator, which wheezed under the stress of mere daily use. A couple inches worth of whiskey was in each cup, and she filled the remaining space with soda.

"A little something to warm us up." She smiled and reached out to hand him his glass, but hesitated.

"Wait, I'm sorry. I should have asked first. Do you want some? 'Cause I can just- "

"-No it's cool. I'll have a little. But I'm your bodyguard for the night, remember? I can't get too wasted."

She nodded, handing him his glass. "Fair. You're the only monster allowed inside tonight." She raised her glass.

"Cheers?"

"Cheers."


	3. Chapter 3: A Space Heater

It was long after dark and the tabletop was no longer visible for all the glasses, napkins, and empty take out boxes. A forgotten movie still blared in the background, unintelligible over the sound over the conversation. Jacob has been recounting Quil and Embry's endless mischief since they joined the pack. Quil seemed to have a special talent for getting on Paul's nerves, though that wasn't a difficult task. Embry had been trying to win over girls with his new physique, with mixed and often amusing results.

"Did nobody tell him that you can't just shove your tongue down a girl's throat?" She wrinkled her nose. "Poor girl. I can only imagine…"

"Yeah, I don't think he's going to be punching that v-card anytime soon," he slurred.

Crap. He might have a higher metabolism than regular humans, but his tolerance was still on par with them. As long as he stayed alert and kept his cool, everything should be fine. No harm, no foul.

They were slumped over on the lumpy couch, and the bottle was more empty than they had intended. She was flushed and giggly, her legs draped over his lap under the blanket. He missed seeing her like this. It had been so long since she looked so carefree and silly, and it tugged at his heart. He wanted to make her feel that way everyday, no booze required.

Not that the inebriation wasn't welcome. For the first time in the weeks since they discovered Victoria's presence, he was completely relaxed and thinking of nothing else but this beautiful, adorable mess wiggling next to him. How was he supposed to resist any of it? The rest of the pack could piss off.

The room looked like it could be moving on its own, wobbling like he was wearing someone else's glasses. Maybe playing it cool was a bit unrealistic. Ballsiness sounded like a much more likely outcome. Hopefully he wouldn't embarrass himself again.

He was suddenly snatched back to reality by the feeling of Bella's icy feet pressing into his stomach.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," he yelped, recoiling. "You're like a corpse. If you're that cold then go turn up the heat. Or just put on some socks."

She giggled, groping for some part of his body to warm her hands on as well. He playfully smacked her hand away. How painfully ironic it was that he was preventing her from touching him.

"I don't need the heater. That's what I have you for," she said, reaching over again to press her hands against his ribcage.

"That's it, huh?" He laughed in a flaccid attempt to conceal his disappointment. He pushed her hands back and pulled the blanket back to protect himself.

"Nooo I didn't mean it like that," she slurred. "You're cute and you keep me from getting eaten."

"Oh really?"

He thought she was just tipsy before, but it felt like she was flirting with him again. He could never be sure, and he hated it as much as he enjoyed the butterflies it gave him. Her choice of words wasn't helping either; a scene from his favorite dream briefly flashed before his eyes.

"Yeah. Six months and I haven't been eaten once. That's a much better track record," she said, lazily taking another sip of her drink.

"No, the other thing."

"What thing?" she asked.

"You called me cute."

His eyes met hers, challenging her to come up with a good explanation. He'd caught her staring once or twice, but it was so much better hearing it from the horse's mouth, even if it wasn't under ideal circumstances.

"That's not what I meant," she stammered. "I meant like…..you're…," Her already flushed face was turning redder.

"I'm what?"

"...I don't know…..aesthetically pleasing," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

He raised his eyebrows, his curious expression turning into a shameless smirk. Was the best bullshit she could conjure? He held her gaze in the silence that followed. Her eyes narrowed.

"...Shut up," she barked, hitting him with a throw pillow.

He dodged, grinning and clearly pleased with himself. Maybe it wasn't the adjective he was looking for, but he'd take it. Bella was always a tiny bit hostile when she was embarrassed, but it gave him a tiny peek into what she was thinking. It seemed like she had been keeping her cards closer to her chest than usual, and it made sober Bella harder to read. What happened to that open book?

"Well, I'm going to turn up the heat if you won't," he said, still snickering at her..

He rose from the couch, only to find that this legs were far less reliable than he remembered.

"Shit," he said, gripping the arm of the couch to stop his wobbling. Well, looks like he could kiss "alert and cool" goodbye in one fell swoop.

"Miss Swan, I hope you realize that you have officially corrupted a minor. What do you have to say for yourself?" He carefully made his way towards the thermostat, nearly bumping into the coffee table in the process.

"It was my pleasure, " she chortled. "I'm happy to corrupt your innocence anytime."

He let out a loud, monosyllabic laugh from the hallway. He'd be more than happy to be...corrupted. The evening was going far better than he'd expected, though he was aware that he had been neglecting his duties, the official reason why he was there. The doors and windows were locked, the lights were on, and the pack was on patrol. If he was by her side the whole time, he could kill two birds with one stone.

"Jaaake," she whined. "I'm still cold."

"I'm working on it," he called back.

"That ancient piece of crap is going to take forever to get going," she said, wrapping the blanket around her like a cloak as she tried to navigate the path from the couch to the stairs.

"My room is warmer. I'm going to go get in the bed so come up when you're done."

Her pronouncement made his heart skip a beat. He fumbled with the temperature gauge as she crossed the landing and into her room. The fuzziness in his vision seemed to switch back to focus. They'd have to sleep at some point, but he hadn't thought that part through. He was simply happy that things had returned to normal. He'd probably hit the couch once she passed out.

When he made it to her room, he found her rolled up in the duvet, her teeth chattering. The window was open, and a small mound of snow had settled on the floor, slowly melting into a puddle. He darted over to the window and slammed it shut, locking it before turning back to her. They must have left it open after they went downstairs. No wonder the house was like an arctic tundra. He needed to be much more careful.

"Jaaake why is it still so cold?"

"Because you left the window open, dumbass."

She stuck out her tongue. "Technically, _you_ left it open. You were the last one to go downstairs, so now you have to fix it."

"I already turned the heater on. It should be warmer in a half hour or so."

"Nope, that doesn't get you out of paying the penalty. Come here, space heater," she said, patting the empty space next to her on the bed.

This was a bad idea, and he knew it. However, the alcohol and the exhaustion of recent weeks won out, and he couldn't pretend that he didn't like the idea. Somewhat reluctantly, he laid down next to her on the bed, trying not to look too happy to be there. She yawned, rolling over to face him and pushing some of the blankets onto him before resting her hand on his shoulder. She was only barely awake as she stared into his eyes.

"Hey Jake?" she whispered.

"Y-yeah?"

"I'm glad you came over."

"Me too."


	4. Chapter 4: A Huge Mistake

The night was rough. Every attempt to calm himself was met with resistance from an unconscious Bella. After falling asleep, she rolled onto her side, her hair falling onto his pillow. The scent of her shampoo wafted over, some fruity concoction like pineapple or tangerine. He'd never been close enough to notice it before. She mumbled in her sleep, dreaming about something, but the few words he could make out didn't tell him if it was good or bad. The stillness was otherwise only interrupted by the howling of the wind through the trees and the way the wood frame of the house creaked with every gust.

He had nearly drifted off but he was jolted awake. Her face was very, very close. Her nose was touching his. He could feel her breath on his face. His own breathing became heavy, and his mind began to wander, weaving between their evening together and everything he imagined when he was alone. His imagination was carrying him off again, and he could feel his jeans becoming tighter with every passing minute. No vampires were going to eat her, but she didn't say that wolves couldn't have a taste.

His eyes were red and heavy. Every time he closed them, he saw not blackness, but his mouth inching closer to press against her lips, cradling the back of her head in his hand as she deepened their kiss. He carefully placed his hand onto her arm and ghosted down the inside, admiring the smoothness of her skin and the wonderful scent that radiated from it. She stirred, and he withdrew, now thinking better of it. All he wanted in the world right now was to take her by the waist and pull her into his arms.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, she reached her arm across his chest, burying her face in the soft part of his shoulder.. He was paralyzed, completely intoxicated by her presence, but reluctant to move-or reciprocate. A shift in the blankets revealed that she had changed into a pajama shirt, but not any pants. The back of her underwear was peeking out, dark blue boyshorts with a pattern of tiny white birds all over. Very Bella. The tightness was back, causing even greater discomfort under the strain, and he wished that he could strip down to his own underwear. If he wasn't so sure she'd been drinking, he would think she was doing this on purpose. If only.

He tossed and turned, trying to think of literally anything else but the mostly-clothed girl sleeping next to him. Counting sheep or thinking about getting parts for his Rabbit proved unsuccessful. He tried thinking about the patrol schedule, or the gag-worthy things he'd seen in their heads, but all that did was make him worry about the shit they were going to give him after seeing all this. Thinking about Paul should have done the trick. But her long legs, the way she hugged the pillow tightly to her chest, the little smiles that crossed her soft, pink lips as she slept, was setting him on fire, and there was no putting it out.

This was torture. Going from hugs to trying to sleep next to her in her bed was quite a leap. He'd always envisioned them both be naked and worn out, cuddling under the blankets, waking her up the next morning with small kisses down her spine. Even just getting to kiss her before this would have made it a hundred times easier. But it was entirely possible that this was all platonic on her part, that she had only meant for him to keep her warm and keep her company, but then there was that subtle flirting. It felt like flirting. All this back-and-forth was exhausting.

As was this night. He stayed up late on patrol nights to keep that leech away from her house, but depriving him of sleep on his only night off was miserable. Her gorgeous body and his incessant ruminating was taking its toll on his body, and not just from the unrelenting ache in his pants. Even if sleep finally overtook him, he still ran the risk of his hands moving on their own in the night; or worse, her waking up the next morning to find something poking her in the butt. It seemed like it was even more active than before he first phased, more demanding, fueling an even stronger need for her than he had before. It was possible that more testosterone was surging through his body these days, but it was just as likely that it was caused by that stupid wolf magic. Like he needed another reason.

After struggling for hours to sleep, still uncertain that it was even a good idea, he finally elected to take the couch. He gingerly rose from the bed and covered her shoulders with the duvet, ever-so-carefully planting a kiss on her temple before closing the door behind him. Trying to tiptoe in an old house with a 6'4, 250 lb body was no easy feat. The floorboards creaked and groaned under his weight until he made it back to the living room, and collapsed onto the couch with a thud. He wasn't safe from the fantasies swirling around in his head, but at least he wouldn't accidentally make things awkward.

After what felt like a few minutes, he awoke to the harsh sun streaming in through the living room windows and into his eyes. What time had he come down? He had no idea, but he could tell that it was well into mid-morning, and he wasn't sure when Charlie would be back. Groaning, slowly sat up and groggily yanked off the mountain of blankets. The room was still littered with crumbs and packets of soy sauce. A ramekin of duck sauce had oozed onto the surface of the coffee table, accompanied by a stack of white boxes and a lone chip bag. Maybe he should clean up a bit before she wakes up.

What time was it? How long had he left her alone without checking on her? Falling down on the job yet again. He abandoned his task and padded up to her room. She was still fast asleep, bundled up like a caterpillar in her cocoon. Her hair was in her face, and she had taken every pillow on the bed for herself. Relieved, he sat down on the end of the bed, trying to ignore the faint headache he had greeted him along with the sun. The dreamcatcher was still hanging on above her bed, reflecting the small rays of sunshine peeking through the curtains. A silver wolf charm dangled from the leather cords, an inside joke before he even knew that it was one.

He wondered what she would remember from the night before and his mind wandered back to the night before on the couch, to Bella's remarks. It wasn't like her to get defensive. He teased her often enough for her to know an innocent jab, but this time she seemed embarrassed, like he'd hit a nerve. Maybe she meant it, or maybe she didn't. It didn't matter right now. His job was to look after her, not try to dissect every word she said. She was just so distracting. The pack understood, especially Sam, but he didn't expect them to cut him much slack.

He was obviously overthinking this. Get a couple drinks in him and everything goes to his head, he thought. The hormone rush didn't help, either. The real challenge was going to be keeping all of this out of the guy's reach. They would have a field day with this. He'd have to try to think about something else. What was there that could be louder than the events of last night playing on an endless loop in his head?

A chill persisted in the room, as though the heater had no effect. Strange. It was warm enough for the both of them during the night; however that didn't necessarily mean the that the heater had anything to do with it. There was a strange, familiar smell barely lingering in the air, a smell that burned his nose and made his heart drop into his stomach. A sudden icy breeze rolled into the room, grazing the back of his neck and sending a chill down his spine.

The window was open.


	5. Chapter 5: A Major Headache

She awoke to a large glass of water on her bedside. The sun was bright; way too bright. She rose with great difficulty and hastily grabbed the glass, downing nearly all of it. Her mouth was still dry, and her head was pounding. A small piece of paper accompanied the glass.

 _Sorry, Bells_

 _The pack needs me today._

 _See you later,_

 _Jake_

The note was brief, almost curt, as if it were written just as an excuse to leave. What had happened last night? Did she do something wrong? When did he leave?

Slowly, she pulled herself up in bed, massaging the bridge of her nose. She pulled down the covers to discover that she hadn't been wearing any pants, just the boyshorts that had been under her pajama bottoms. A loud groan escaped her lips as she dragged herself into the bathroom.

A total mess was looking back at her in the mirror. Her stale morning breath reeked of sugar and alcohol, her hair was sticking up in odd places, and her eyeliner was smudged. Whether it was from laughing or crying, she didn't know. Maybe it was better that Jake didn't see her looking like this, though given the train wreck she was after Edward left, maybe that ship had sailed.

A wave of nausea hit. She was going to need to pull herself together before Charlie came home. Shit. There was a huge mess downstairs and she was in no mood to deal with it. Slowly, she tried piecing the night back together. They talked about school, winter break, terrible movies, and Quil and Embry coming to blows and almost phasing over the last piece of Emily's pie. She told him about the latest hobby that Renee had thrown herself into. They annihilated the food, binged some tv show she had started recently, and had a drink or two.

Or three. Or four. She'd lost count, but it was definitely more than she had planned. That was where her memory turned fuzzy. Charlie was going to kill her once he found the bottle. Maybe he wouldn't notice it was watered it down a bit. Jacob was drinking, too, but there was no telling how much he'd had as the evening progressed. His size and his insane new metabolism might have saved him there. She should have gone easy on him, being older and slightly more experienced than him, but that somehow made her want to corrupt him more. What was high school if not a time to get in a little trouble, sneak out, have a few of your firsts? She guessed this would be the first hangover for the both of them.

There was something odd about the contrast between the old Jacob and the new. This tough new exterior couldn't conceal the boy that remained within. His face betrayed a strange merging of two people, one experienced and seductive, the other sweet and naive. She was always safe with him, but this time there was nothing inside him that wanted to murder her, nothing he had to hold back. It turned her on more than she wanted to admit, but at the same time it was just so...cute.

"I said something dumb, didn't I?" she moaned as it all finally dawned on her. "I said something I shouldn't have."

She sat down on the edge of the bathtub to combat the spinning. It wasn't that she didn't mean any of it, but saying it while being drunk off her ass what not the way to do it. She wasn't even sure if she was ready to be that transparent with him. Things were going so well, and she didn't want to complicate their relationship any more. Not yet, anyways.

She wracked her brain, trying to remember what had come next. She'd gone upstairs because of the cold; that much was certain. The bed was still freezing after she arrived. She was freezing again now. She turned on the shower and waited for the hot water to fog up the mirror so she wouldn't have to see herself anymore. He was determined to scrub the embarrassment off in the shower along with her remaining makeup. Whatever it was that she said, there was no doubt that he'd be teasing her about it forever after.

Bits and pieces of the rest of the night came back to her, something about the window and a space heater. She dreamed of the pack, all in their wolf forms and resting together in a huge pile on the grass. Jake snorted and nudged her with his muzzle to join them, where she fell asleep curled up in his fur. Her last waking memory was of how warm it was under the blankets, almost uncomfortably so. She was sure she was sweating during the night. There was a moment where she was almost entirely asleep, and she began feeling around for the other pillow. She found what she was looking for, and pulled herself in towards its warmth.

"Oh no…"

The day went much as he had predicted. He elected to just fess up rather than risk a blowout during patrols. serious reprimand from the entire pack, especially Sam. The morning was spent in Emily's kitchen, sitting around the table recounting the night before. He listened, more quietly than usual, to the results of their patrols, before he was forced to divulge the details of his evening with Bella. He took care to omit some of the more salacious details, knowing full well the futility of it all. There was no way he was going to make it to the other side of this mess with his dignity intact. They knew exactly why he'd fallen down on the job, and they were not going to let him forget it. He was prepared for punishment; he somehow forgot that the punishment would include endless, merciless ridicule.

"You're a fucking idiot," Sam growled.

"I guess Jake was out the day they taught us about peer pressure," Quil added. His constant stream of snark was getting tedious.

"Nah, I think we all know what went into _that_ decision," Embry said. "Or who."

"That's enough you two," Sam warned. Right now, Sam was probably the only thing standing between him and a week of bad innuendo. He was sure they'd get the full story after everyone phased that night.

"You'll get her killed if you keep thinking with your dick," said Paul. "And if you keep it up you could put the whole pack in jeopardy."

Paul always knew how to piss him off better than anyone. He loved her, and he would never knowingly put her in danger to further any ulterior motives. He wouldn't violate her trust. As much time as they spent rooting around in his mind, they should have known better than to trivialize his feelings.

Jacob stood up suddenly, his fists clenched.

"Don't you think I know that?" he snapped.

"Do you honestly think that I don't realize what could have happened? I could have lost her forever, and I already feel really guilty about that. This pack has already taken so much from me. You already tried to get me to abandon her to protect our 'secret' even though she's already part of this world."

He realized he was shaking and paused, taking a deep breath to calm the beast inside that was trying to force its way out. He'd had excellent control up until now.

"She could have just as easily figured it out on her own. How could I do that to her, after everything she's been through, after how long it took before she would even smile again?"

"And what about what we've been through, hmm?" chided an irritated Paul. "Is she more important than your family?"

"Of course not!" he objected. "That's not the point. All I wanted was one night, one night to be a normal person and pretend that nothing had changed. And I shouldn't have to remind you guys that I have some rights when it comes to Bella." His voice became quiet, and he slid back down into his chair, his eyes closed.

"I know I screwed up. I just wanted to see her again. I want this leech dead as much as you all do, but these double shifts are overkill. We will catch her, and once we do, taking her out will be a snap. I think you'll agree that I have more reason to want to tear that bitch apart than anyone here."

The room fell silent. Embry piped in: "Bella is probably really freaked out, right? If we leave her alone too long, she'll probably do something really stupid and make our job harder." Paul shot him a dirty look. He knew he could always count on Embry to back him up, as long as there wasn't a better opportunity to make fun of him. The kid knew what was good for him.

"Exactly," said Jacob, hopeful that he might be making some progress. "She spent a year hanging out with a bunch of blood suckers that tried to kill her _twice_ and ended up in the hospital, for Christ's sake. She clearly has zero self-preservational skills. She can't even walk around her own house without tripping."

Sam let out a long sigh, massaging his temples. Embry smiled weakly at Jacob from across the table.

Paul eyed Sam. "Don't tell me you're seriously considering-"

Sam held up his hand to quiet him.

"Please, Sam... Don't make me give this up too."

"Jacob is right in one respect:," Sam said reluctantly. "I can't order him not to see her. Only she has that power."

The pack sat in silence. A nervous energy permeated the kitchen as they waited for Sam's decision. Jacob was ready to take anything that Sam ordered. He'd pull a double shift. He'd even do a week's worth of patrols with Paul if it meant he could see her regularly, like regular teenagers.

"Ok," he began. "Here's what going to happen."


	6. Chapter 6: A Surprise Audience

Jacob crept up to the back of the house, looking for lights in the window. The house was dark except for the flickering of the downstairs tv. Charlie would be totally engrossed in the baseball game this time of night. There were no signs of life upstairs. It was time to fess up. It was time to tell her what a careless idiot he was, what the consequences would be for this screw up. He promised.

A small, bright, white light that was suddenly snuffed out as he made his way up to the house. It looked like the screen of her phone, probably turning it off for the night. He really needed to get a cell phone. Climbing up the tree was old hat at this point; the real trick was being quiet about it. More than once had he hung from a branch with only one hand, or tried to jump from one branch to another, only to narrowly miss a concussion and waking up the neighbors. His cockiness was going to kill him one of these days.

The room was illuminated only by the moonlight creeping in. He scanned the room through a crack in the curtains, hoping to catch her before she fell asleep. His eyes landed on her bed, where she was squirming under the blankets, her voice quiet but persistent, but it was too quiet to make out. It looked like a nightmare. She never went into any detail about them, and he didn't even know about the screaming until she told him, but he felt it was safe to assume it was about the bloodsuckers. A twinge of guilt ran through him as he remembered how she found out about Victoria.

The duvet fell down off of her body enough to expose her completely naked back all the way down to her waist. This was so much more of her than he'd ever seen, or could probably ever hope to see. He could see the curve of her spine in the low light, her long hair tumbling down over her back, and the back of her neck. She was so beautiful. She always had been, even in her darkest days. There was no one in the world like her. He would keep loving her, even if it wasn't the way he wanted to.

Her hands were underneath the sheets, and her breathing was getting heavy. She was biting her lip and moaning faintly. The wriggling was even more pronounced, almost rhythmic. A hand reappeared from the blankets to grope her chest, squeezing and clawing as she arched her back. It suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks: she was definitely not having a nightmare, and she was definitely not asleep.

His heart began hammering away at his ribcage as he realized what he had been watching the entire time. No amount of cold showers were going to make the rest of the night any easier, and keeping the image of her half naked body in the back of his mind, away from the prying eyes of his brothers, was an almost impossible task. He felt like a pervert, peeping on her in her room, and he quickly turned away. He had no intention of doing this, he thought. He came explicitly to tell her what had happened and get his ass kicked. Of course, none of this had any effect on the growing volume of her voice, which echoed in his ears and beckoned him to stay just a little bit longer. He imagined her making those noises for him, naked, moaning softly in his ear, clawing at his flesh...

It sounded like the same word, just one syllable over and over again. It was long since time for him to go back and resume his duties, but he remained glued to the spot.

"...Jake..."

He stopped dead. There was no way. He absolutely heard that wrong. His mind had been permanently warped by wishful thinking.

"Mmmmm...Jake..."

This was too much. This was way too much. The full force of his discovery crashed over his head like a tsunami. She pulled him in then pushed him away, back and forth, for months. He was almost used to it at this point, and there were no expectations from him for anything more. So what the hell was he supposed to make of this? Nothing about her made any sense. In a daze, he climbed back down and made off for the woods, doing everything in his power to block out the secret he'd just been let in on.

The sound of plates clanking against the kitchen table echoed through the house.

"Bella, you up?" called Charlie, his voice annoyingly louder than usual.

"Yeah, just a minute," she replied.

The good news was the the throbbing had ceased, but was now replaced with the rumbling of her stomach. She knew she still looked like crap, and her mood has not significantly improved since she woke the previous morning. She managed to rouse herself from the bed and drag her body out into the world of the living. The scent of bacon and coffee drifted past her on the stairs, and she finally landed on the chair, emitting a wordless greeting. Charlie offered a steaming mug, his eyes regarding her with suspicion. Of course he knew something was up. That's what happens when you live with with a cop, she thought.

"Are we feeling better today?" he said, glancing over as he tended to the pan on the stove.

"Yeah," She grunted, sipping carefully. "Just hungry now."

"I'm glad. You were asleep when I got home so I was worried. Were you up late Friday?"

"A little, just finishing up a paper and watching tv."

"That's good. How was the bourbon?"

She almost choked on her coffee.

"W-what? How should I know?" she squeaked, blowing intently into her mug.

"Wow, you are a terrible liar, kid," he chuckled, sliding a plate of toast and bacon in front of her before taking a seat. She sank further into her chair, silently nibbling at a piece of partially scorched toast. If she was going to eat, she was going to have to suffer a lecture from Charlie.

"Look," he started. "I know you're at that age and all...I did stupid stuff too, back in the day. I once got grounded for a month after some shenanigans in the woods." He paused, staring out the window as if trying to recall something. "But you're a good kid, though. Hardly give me any trouble. I just want you to be safe. You're eighteen, going off to college next year. I guess it was only a matter of time".

He studied her face, no doubt taking note of the dark circles under her eyes and the way she was slumped down in the chair. He chuckled.

"And it looks like you already learned your lesson the hard way, so I'm gonna let you off with just a fine."

"A fine? Like you want me to pay you?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yep," he said, talking over a mouthful of bacon. "You're buying me another bottle. Watering that stuff down should be a crime."

"It _was_ really good…"

Her voice trailed off. She stared out the window as the morning sun reflected off the fresh snow. The squirrels that lived in their tree were fighting again, chasing each other up and down the trunk. A bright red cardinal landed on a nearby bush. It seemed to stare back at her through the glass, still and silent, before flying off into the trees.

Charlie cleared his throat. Oh good, there was more.

"Well, I'm glad you weren't by yourself all night," he said, taking a gulp of his own coffee. Crumbs clung to his scruffy mustache and trailed down onto his shirt. He picked up the Sunday paper and began skimming the headlines. She sighed.

"How did you know?"

"Someone blew through my salt and vinegar chips," he said, not looking up. "And I saw the takeout boxes in the trash can. Too much for you to finish off in one evening." Cop work must have been getting dull if he was trying to play detective.

"It was Jake, wasn't it?"

She looked away, shifting in her seat. Here we go, she thought.

"I thought so. I'm not blind, Bella. I know there's something going on there."

"There's nothing going on, Dad," she said sharply.

She stood up quickly, shuffling over to the stove for a refill. It was far too early in the morning for this, she thought, staring off into space as she poured more cream into her mug. Was she really that obvious? She knew he was waiting for her, but she had gone through great lengths to conceal her own feelings from the world before she was ready for him, and the last thing she needed was the prying eyes of their families. Charlie would probably be thrilled if they got together, but it would still be complicated. If they were just normal teenagers, she'd only have to worry about getting caught fooling around in her truck. The magical bullshit brought sneaking around to a whole new level.

"Sure," he replied flatly. "Well whatever isn't going on, you better get it sorted out soon. I like that kid."

He opened the paper to the sports section, scanning for news about the upcoming World Series. Unlike her busybody mother, he was never one to press an issue, so she couldn't understand why he was so insistent on this one. Once he became absorbed in the article, she seized the opportunity to slink back upstairs and avoid any further interrogation.


	7. Chapter 7: A Bad Dream

The day progressed much as any other Sunday. Her attempts to study proved futile, and she found herself wandering the internet aimlessly, still wearing her pajamas. She sat propped up on pillows, browsing endlessly through wikipedia and articles about movies and politics. The ice crystals remained undisturbed on the window that had remained shut for almost two days. No voicemails. No calls. No carrier pigeons.

It made her restless. Her memory was incomplete, and the holes left open the possibility that she had said even more than what she already regretted. An SAT prep book sitting on the pillow seemed to stare at her disapprovingly, and she closed her laptop. It was time for another attempt. After another half hour, she realized she'd been reading through the same paragraphs over and over again, but absorbing nothing. She let out an exasperated sigh as she flung the book on the floor.

The prospect of becoming a vampire had made her lazy at school. She would experience high school and college dozens of times and be part of a wealthy, beautiful, ageless family. She had all the time in the world. But she could hear her mother's voice in her head, scolding her for not planning for the future. She would be the first in her family to go to college if Renee had anything to say about it. She could no longer rationalize bailing on her entire life for a guy. It was time to let go of those old fantasies and buckle down.

But the future felt far off, and the present was filled with much more pressing matters. Jake was gone and there was no news of Victoria. It created an undercurrent of anxiety alongside a tense, throbbing ache that she wished she could ignore, neither of which could be properly relieved on her own. How could she already be so lonely? He'd only been gone two days. Maybe it was the silence that troubled her. She wanted him back in her bed, warm and comforting, leaving his scent on her sheets. It was a shame he'd been wearing shirts so often…

She struggled to keep her eyes open, but whether it was out of boredom or fatigue, she wasn't sure. She lacked the power to fight it, and sleep eventually overtook her.

She was suddenly back in the forest, the summer sun beaming downward into a mountain pool. It was fed by a small waterfall, and she could see the granite pebbles lining the bottom. It wasn't too deep. Maybe she could jump off the ledge beside it. It wasn't cliff diving, but it was a good first step. The combination of the sun and the lack of any tangible breeze meant it was far too hot to be outside. She could feel the sweat soaking her clothes, making them stick to her skin.

She looked down to see she was wearing her green satin dress from the Cullen's birthday party, still stained with her blood. The gash on her arm was still wide open. The dress made her itch. It felt too tight around her chest, making it hard to breathe. She needed to get out of it and clean herself up before she went home. She was completely alone, surrounded by trees and undergrowth that stretched for miles in every direction. Everything was covered in moss, turning the forest emerald green. Just a quick dip. She would be fine.

She couldn't withstand the heat any longer, and she slipped out of the dress, leaving all her clothes behind on a fallen tree. Stepping into the pool, completely submerging herself in the cold water, she felt freer than ever before. It felt like magic, the way the water seemed to dissolve her fears. She floated, enjoying nothing coming between her and the water. The blood began to wash away. When she looked down, the gash was gone, and the old pink scar had vanished too.

A rustling came from nearby. The sound bounced all around, making it impossible to tell if it was coming from behind her or in front of her. Something was coming. Something big. The foliage parted to reveal a massive wolf staring right at her. It was covered in shaggy reddish fur. It sniffed at the mound of clothes and recoiled, seemingly repulsed by the smell. It sat down in front of her, looking directly at her. It whined, as if to speak. She recognized the large brown eyes staring back at her.

"Jake?" she asked, covering her chest with her hands and sinking lower into the water.

He growled, baring his teeth at her. No, it was something behind her. Out of the corner of her eye came a flash of fiery red hair, and Victoria was just feet away from her laughing as she cornered Bella against a rock.

"Jake!" she called desperately.

The wolf had already left, the tip of its tail disappearing into the bushes. Victoria's icy fingers were around her neck.

"Looks like I finally found you, sweetheart. Be sure to send Edward my love."

Victoria sunk her teeth into the soft flesh, intent on consuming every last drop of blood. Her screams reverberated throughout the forest, but with no one else around to hear it.

 _Tap...Tap...Tap._

A welcome sound interrupted her dream. She looked around her room in search of the source, disoriented, before giving up and flopping back down to slow the beating of her heart. It was already dark. She didn't mean to sleep for so long. Charlie was going to begin grumbling about dinner soon.

 _Tap..Tap...Tap._

It came again, something small hitting glass. She pulled herself up out of the bed, still managing her breath, to find Jacob outside preparing to toss another pebble. She unlatched the window and pulled it open.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied, apprehensive.

"Can I-"

"-Sure."

She didn't wait for him to come up as usual, but rather perched on the corner of her desk. Now she would know what she did that night, though at this point she would have preferred to keep that a mystery forever. She resigned herself to the fact that her pulse would not be slowing down any time soon. He entered, his usual animation replaced with an unsettling quiet. She braced herself for whatever was coming next.

"Sorry," he said. "I tried to catch you last night before my rounds but it looked like you were... asleep." His fidgeting caught her eye.

"Jake, I don't know what it was that I did the other night, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-I was drunk and I-"

"-Wait wait what?" he stopped her with a quizzical expression. "What are you talking about?" She froze.

"...What are _you_ talking about?" she countered.

"I'm talking about yesterday morning. But I am interested to hear whatever it was you were freaking out about."

He was trying to lighten the mood, but it was clear that something was weighing heavily on him, He sat down on the edge of the window seat, his hands running through his hair. Why did he seem so anxious?

"Jake? What's going on?"

"The other night, after you fell asleep, I...went downstairs for a bit," he started, staring at the floor. "I accidentally fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up, I came back up to check on you, the window was open again."

"So you left the window open?"

"No, Bells. I closed it before we went to sleep."

She stared back, unblinking.

"I could smell her, Bella. Victoria tried to break in." His voice wavered. He still couldn't look at her. "And I wasn't there."

Bella slid off the desk and onto the floor, his words ringing in her head. The room was spinning. She couldn't breathe.

"Bella?"

"Just give me a second. There's a good chance I'm going to puke."

They sat in silence. Tears began to collect in the corners of her eyes, but she fought them back in a weak attempt to collect herself. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes to focus her energy on keeping her voice steady. Time to change the subject for bit.

"What did the guys say?" she asked softly. Jacob cleared his throat.

"They lost track of her a couple hours before dawn. They haven't seen her since. I think she might've picked up on my scent since it was all over your room and it put her off."

He turned to look at her, watching her measured breathing. She could see the pained look in his eyes, and it made her heart ache. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them into her chest. She'd asked for news, and she got what wanted.

"So...how much trouble are you in?"

"Not as much as I deserve. Sam really tore me a new asshole."

She choked out a laugh, and the dam finally broke; tears began flowing down her cheeks in full force, and she completely gave up. She knew she was stronger than this. She'd overcome much worse than this, and she hated feeling like she was putting even more on Jacob's shoulders. He didn't deserve to be guilted like this.

"Bella, honey…please. I won't screw up again. I won't let her get to you."

Jacob slid down onto the floor next to her and put his arm around her, hugging her against his chest while she cried. She wanted to stay right there and wait. Slowly, the tears began to dry up, much to his relief, but his arm remained firmly in place. She sniffed and he wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumb. She gave him a pathetic smile to try and reassure him. She didn't deserve him.

"They found out about the drinking, huh?" she said. "Charlie was right: I really am a bad influence. The gang, the underage drinking, sneaking into girl's rooms..." He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Bells, come on. Can you just-" She raised her hand to stop him.

"I had a hand in this too, remember. Getting you drunk was a really stupid idea. I just thought it would be fun. Loosen up a little, you know?"

She pulled herself up with the help of the desk, crossing the room to sit on the end of her bed. Her eyes were still red and swollen.

"I'm not mad at you, Jake. I can't be," she mumbled. "And I don't want you to keep beating yourself up about it. I just can't deal with this anymore." She felt the lump rising back into her throat.

A look of fear washed over his face.

"You can't deal with what?"

"Her. All of this. I'm so scared all of the time, Jake. Every time I hear a twig snap or see a shadow out my window I think it's her. I'm a sitting duck fucking up everyone else's life just so they can protect me. Someone is going to get killed and it will be all my fault. I can't even help. I _want_ to help."

"We would have started phasing even if you never came to Forks. The Council says it's about having vampires too close to the rez. None of this is your fault."

She hiccupped. "I guess. I just want to move on but they won't let me. They keep coming back." She dabbed her eyes, letting out a long sigh. "I just want this to be over."

"I shouldn't have gotten you in trouble with your brothers and done stupid things and-I just wanted to have fun again, you know? Like we used to?" Her voice grew higher as she stifled more tears. "I just wanted it to be like before, when we used to hang out in your garage and walk on the beach…"

She couldn't suppress the longing in her eyes as she gazed at him. She wished she could give him his carefree life back more than anything. An easier world for both of them.

"...when things were easy."

"I know," he said. "It was. At least, that's how it felt to me."

"No, it was," she sniffed. "It felt nice."

"And if it makes you feel better, it's not just you. The Quileute wolves have always existed to protect the tribe."

"Oh," she said quietly. Of course they weren't just doing this for her benefit. How self centered did she have to be to think that this was all about her? She loved the pack, but they owed her nothing. The tribe was so much more important than her.

"Oh no Bella, honey, that came out wrong," he said. "I didn't mean that you weren't-"

"No, Jake. You're right. I'm being so self-absorbed. This isn't about me."

"You are so goddamn frustrating sometimes." His words stung.

"The pack _wants_ to protect you, Bella. I want to protect you.. Killing leeches is in the job description, but that doesn't mean you aren't the reason we're doing it."

She wasn't sure she bought it. Jake was always trying to comfort her, even at his own expense.

"Charlie's a cop, right?"

"Yes?"

"Ok, so protecting Forks is what his squad does, but we all know that you are really Charlie's biggest priority. So if someone has a gun to your head and he and his buddies need to roll up to blast dude's head off, you aren't putting them out. It's what they're built for, and they want to do it. Do you see what I'm getting at here?"

"Yeah, I do," she said. "But I can't lose you, Jake."

"You won't. And as much as I appreciate the sentiment, your lack of faith in us is getting a little insulting." He smiled and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"So I'm guessing that getting yelled at by Sam wasn't your only punishment."

"No, it's not," he snorted. "I've got good news and bad news on that front, actually. That was the other reason I came."

She looked up at him incredulously.

"How? I'm surprised they haven't chained you to a tree in the backyard." She fiddled with the tissue in her hand, twisting and folding and tearing it into tiny pieces. "Or gotten you a shock collar."

"I got really lucky with Sam. Like stupid lucky. I'm going to be patrolling more and watched more closely, I get one night a week off where they'll leave me alone. Totally free. Dusk to dawn."

"Holy shit, really?" she croaked, rising from the bed. She was so afraid that he'd be yanked away from her again. She didn't expect Sam to be so lenient. Maybe there were other conditions he wasn't sharing.

"Really. I'm still kind of on duty, but we can go anywhere or do anything."

 _I just don't want to have to hear about any of it._

 _Seriously. It's getting gross._

 _Yeah keep her boobs out of my head, please. It's really distracting._

She didn't need to know about the rest of the pack's thoughts on the matter. She sniffed again. Her smile had returned, and he looked relieved. He was too good for her, she thought.

"Is Thursday alright for you?"

She nodded, lunging forward into his arms. "Thursday is perfect."


	8. Chapter 8: A Sudden Shock

"So where are we going?"

The roads were icy and slick, with mountains of recently plowed snow lining each side. It had started again in the afternoon, and Bella wasn't entirely sure her old truck was up to the challenge. They'd braved the remote stretch of highway between her house and his, and returned to civilization. The snow reflected the light from passing streetlamps, storefronts, and houses, sparkling as if it had been sprinkled with glitter. She turned onto a street lined with houses, most of them as old as the town itself, and parked along the sidewalk.

"So, it's kind of dumb, but hear me out."

"I'm loving this sales pitch."

She glared at him for a moment before continuing:

"I wanted to go see the Christmas lights. Now, I know Forks is pretty low-key, but I never got to do real Christmas things like this in Arizona," she said, almost childlike. She went on, staring wistfully out the window at the passing flakes.

"Most years we opened presents in shorts. No bonfires or cocoa or snowball fights. It turns out living in the desert kind of sucks."

"Jeez, did the chupacabra deliver your presents, too?" he teased.

"Oh, yeah. His sleigh is pulled by a bunch of coyotes. No milk and cookies, though; we just turn over the trash cans for them so they don't eat our goats." She stared back as him, eyebrows raised, daring him to make another quip.

He laughed, admitting defeat. "Ok, I'm sorry Go ahead."

"Wait, is the chupacabra real? After werewolves and vampires, nothing would surprise me at this point."

"Bella."

"Right. Sorry. _Anyways_ , I really loved how they decorated all the houses I saw on tv, but there wasn't much of that around. So, since tonight's activities are up to me, I want to go see the Christmas lights." She smiled back at him self-consciously.

"You really didn't have lights down there? Or those stupid moving reindeer?"

"My mom tried to be funny one year and put icicle lights on the big saguaro in front of our house." She paused thoughtfully. "But other than that, nope."

She scanned his face, waiting for him to laugh or make a crack about doing something so childish. He did seem a bit amused, but there was something else in his expression that she couldn't make out. Maybe he was actually taking her seriously.

"Wow, well you have seriously been deprived. I hope Forks can live up to your expectations." He opened the passenger door and slid down to the end.

"Shall we?"

It was becoming difficult to stay the shy girl she was before. She wanted to be more mature, more guarded, more practical. The fantasy world she lived in before was gone, and it very nearly killed her. She wanted to believe that she was going to be cool and responsible in front of Jacob, perhaps more for her sake than for his, but she couldn't maintain that facade with him anymore. Before she realized it, everything inside her that was withered and frozen had begun to thaw. Her new fantasies were certainly different, but they felt real. Maybe they would forever remain daydreams, something to get her through all the darkness and uncertainty. But they gave her hope for a peaceful life, stepping back into the sunlight. She was ready to be happy again.

The street lamps cast a faint glow down the street, illuminating the rows of old farmhouses, bungalows, and neatly kept cottages. Wood smoke from a dozen fireplaces drifted up into the air from their weathered brick chimneys as the waning crescent moon looked down from above. Despite the it's size, Forks was just as enthusiastic about the season as anywhere else. Wreaths on doors and garlands hanging from porch railings and picket fences. White lights were the trend in the neighborhood, lining the edges of roofs and spiraling up trees. Those woven into the shrubs peeked out from underneath the layer of snow that had been building up all day. Apart from their laughter and footsteps, the street was almost silent.

"So what's the verdict, Bells? Is this better than a cactus?"

"This is so much better than a cactus. But, I'm still not sold on having to freeze my ass off to get it."

"Well, that's what you have me for, right?" he chuckled. "Just remember that if you stick your bony little icicles on my stomach again I'm revoking your privileges."

"Oh yeah? Well if you revoke my warming privileges, what will I keep you around for?" she teased.

"Well to hear you tell it, the view," he smirked.

She looked away, trying to hide the sudden color in her cheeks. He certainly had her there.

"...Shut up."

Bella tucked her scarf into her coat to combat the cold. He was having a far easier time of it, despite the ridiculously flimsy outfit. No one in their right mind would think that was enough this time of year, no matter how big he was. She could only withstand it a little while longer, but she wasn't ready for the night to end.

A loud crack suddenly rang out, followed by the dull crash of something heavy on metal. Alarmed, Bella immediately grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly as her eyes darted around in search of the source of the noise. The red string lights in her peripheral vision turned to wisps of Victoria's hair, the wind into the sound of her swift steps rapidly approaching. Jacob was on alert as well, but was gazing backwards over his shoulder. Sitting atop the car in front of the previous house was a large branch from the tree above, which had given out under the weight of the snow. He squeezed back.

"It's alright," he whispered, his voice low and soothing.

She looked down to see that she was still gripping his hand. Now doubly flustered from his flirting and the sudden heart attack, she quickly let go.

"What, I can't hold your hand?" he asked, somewhat hurt by the gesture.

"No, sorry, it's not that," she stammered. "I didn't mean to-I just kind of grabbed-I didn't know if-" She was turning pink again.

"You can, you know," he said, gently taking her hand again and putting them in the pocket of his jacket.

His words came as a relief, but she tried to restrain her expression, knowing that his gaze was firmly fixed on her and not avoidable for long. For a moment, he was the Jacob she'd only seen glimpses of before; intense, focused, and self-assured. It made her heart race, and she wasn't sure if it was because it scared her or if it drew her even further in.

"We should probably get inside soon," she said.

"Why don't we go warm up at my place for a while?" he offered. "My dad should be out with Harry Clearwater for a bit after the council meeting."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

There was a palpable tension the entire drive back. Jacob was sitting much closer to her than before, nodding off for a moment here and there. Was this it? Was this the night to confront all the thoughts and feelings that had been swirling ceaselessly inside her skull? She was risking everything they had, all the progress she had made, not knowing if her wounds were fully healed. And yet, she wanted it. She needed it. She couldn't contain it much longer. They were careening into dangerous territory, and she knew that once she was in, there was no coming out.

They stood in the entryway of the little one-story house, stripping off their jackets and shoes which were now damp with melted snow. She took stock of the condition of the living room, which was piled up with old hunting magazines, empty water bottles, and a large can of salted peanuts.

"C'mon," he said hastily as she finished pulling off her boot. "I've got a tv in my room."

The house was pitch black except for the tube tv in the living room, sizzling with static. She'd never spent any time in Jacob's house, except for the bathroom during their garage days. But even shrouded in darkness, she could understand why: it was rather dreary. Charlie's house was a bit shabby, but he had kept it in decent repair and even fixed it up a bit in anticipation of Bella's arrival. A grey recliner loveseat occupied most of their tiny living room. The trash can was nearly overflowing with takeout boxes and diet soda cans. The curtains, as always, were closed.

Jacob's mother had passed several years ago in a car accident around the same time that Billy started using his wheelchair, and it looked like time had stood still since then. Neither of them ever talked about her, and Jared confirmed that even the family rarely spoke of her to each other. It became very clear to Bella why Jacob's sisters had left so quickly after graduation. It wasn't just the harsh realities of life on the reservation; it was the way their mother still haunted the house.

Jacob's room wasn't much better. It was small and narrow, his unmade twin bed pushed into the corner to accommodate a desk and a small dresser. She was certain that it was too short for his new six-foot-something frame, and she couldn't help but imagine his feet hanging off the end. The room was still dotted with relics from his childhood, like the Wolverine poster on the back of his door and a small trophy from some athletic event. A pile of dirty laundry lurked in the far corner.

"Sorry it's such a mess," he said. "I haven't really been in here much lately."

He scurried around the room, tossing socks in the corner and spreading a new blanket over the bed. He switched on the small tv sitting on his desk before planting himself on the bed.

"No worries," she said with a nervous twinge to her voice. "Mine isn't that much better. I've got way more free time, so I've got no excuse but being lazy."

She sat down next to him while he flipped through the channels, conscious of the arm stretched out between the wall and the pillows behind her. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, just inches away from hers. His shoulders were broad and his arms burly. He had always looked strong, but it had definitely gone into overdrive since joining the pack. She'd seen him so many times since then, but she was still noticing something new every time. She readjusted in her seat, bringing herself in closer to rest her head against his chest.

This was it, she thought. If there was ever a time to tell him, it was tonight, but the possibilities that had paralyzed her from the start weren't going away. The worst case scenario was too much to bear, but even the outcome she hoped for was not without its own complications. He was young and reckless, and she knew Victoria would take advantage of that at the first opportunity. It wasn't her lack of faith in him or in the pack, but the ferocity and ruthlessness of vampires with which she was so well acquainted.

But it wasn't just Victoria. It was never just Victoria. A different kind of dread appeared each time her heart fluttered, each time she saw him fighting the impulse to toe the boundaries she had implicitly set. What were those boundaries anyway, she thought. She seemed to set and then step over them with too much frequency to keep track of. Edward had battled his impulses to devour her because of the deadly consequences and his own strong reservations about making her one of his own. In retrospect, not giving in to her childish whims was a blessing, but it was still firmly rooted in his own angst about his inherent monsterhood. Jake was combatting his own impulse to devour her, but out of respect for her. That was what she wanted in the beginning, but now she was ready to tear down the wall.

She gulped, her heart pounding at what felt like a thousand beats a minute. She was surprised he couldn't hear it over the tv. Maybe his super-dog-senses only worked in wolf mode.

She turned to look at him, trying in vain to not to give herself away.

"Jake?" she said softly, almost hoping he wouldn't hear her over the noise. Instead, he turned to meet her gaze, looking back at her with more intensity than she was prepared for.

"I-" she started, her voice wavering.

Despite her almost endless ruminating, she had somehow neglected to rehearse any of this. Should she be working up to this or just get straight to the point? Either way, she was going to need to form some complete sentences.

"I...do you...I mean-"

There was a spark of recognition in his eyes. Before she could even process it, Jacob leaned over and closed the space between them. Her stuttering was suddenly silenced by his mouth on hers, and her mind went completely blank.


	9. Chapter 9: A Goodnight Kiss

That was finally it, his chance to remove any and all ambiguity from their relationship. He wanted to restrain himself long enough to hear her out, but he had already been struggling with it for most of the evening. Every moment he spent with her weakened him, and the lifetime of waiting had him ready to burst. There were things he needed to say, too; nerve-wracking and slightly embarrassing things. But there would be plenty of time for talk later, assuming that he had not just made the second biggest mistake of his life.

He wanted to wait for the right moment, but missing it would almost be worse than seizing the wrong one. Even if he was one hundred percent certain of her feelings, her breakup had been messy, mentally and physically, and he feared the consequences of pushing her too early. That leech had screwed with her, put her in danger, and then abandoned her. He would never forgive him for the damage the Cullens did to her, to _his_ Bella. Wherever this moment took him, he would never let her suffer like that again.

Even if he wasn't rejected outright, there was a chance he could poison the well. She might have needed him for his support and his protection, but the truth was that he needed her more, and even remaining only as friends was preferable to scaring her away with his impatience. But seeing her smile again, letting him hold her hand, cuddling so close to him like that, had formed fissures in his resolve. He should have waited for her, but it was too much. He had to know for sure.

His heart was still racing as he pulled back to gauge her reaction. She stared back wordlessly, wide-eyed and panting like a marathon runner. But her eyes never left his.

"I've wanted to do that for a really long time," he whispered, stroking her hair. The moments that followed felt like an eternity as he waited for her to respond.

"Me too," she whispered back, flushed. She raised her hand and traced along his jaw with her fingers. His heart restarted and she grabbed him by the waist of his shirt to pull herself in once more.

They might have become permanently affixed if it weren't for the need for air. His hands traveled around her waist and her back, and his mind instantly sent back to that night in her bed by the scent of her shampoo, which drifted up into his brain and turned it to mush. Her chest heaved, and he could feel it pressing against his own. He'd forgotten just how small she was, how fragile, until his hand found her waist. He wanted nothing more than to slide his hand under the hem of her shirt and feel the soft skin hidden underneath, maybe even pull it off of her... Was this the first time he had really touched her, or just the first time he lost himself in it?

Her hand was tangled in his cropped hair, bringing him closer after every half-breath he managed to steal. He tempered his grip on her, mindful of his strength and capacity to injure her, but she showed no such inhibitions. How did the leech keep himself from breaking her with a voracious appetite such as hers? There was something almost aggressive about the way she kissed him, like an animal that had just been released from its cage. Her tongue had found its way into his mouth, searching tirelessly until it found his, and letting out tiny moans every so often. He was taken aback by the eagerness with which she pawed at his chest, as if she were trying to push him over on his back. Where was she going with this? It was undeniably welcome, but they had already exhausted everything he was prepared for and were quickly traversing into new territory.

The experience was dizzying, and not just due to the reduced oxygen in his blood; though, a lot of that blood was being diverted away from his brain at the moment. She nipped at his bottom lip, and he felt a growl rumble deep in his chest. His efforts to conceal his growing need were constantly thwarted by her wandering hand, which had moved downwards from his chest to his stomach. Her fingertips were running back and forth over his skin, and he wondered if they would slip under his shirt. She had to know what she was doing to him. It had been over a year of vivid dreams that left him sweating and frustrated upon waking, but this was real, and it was so much better.

He finally retreated from her grasp, though not without extracting himself entirely. His arm remained around her waist as he came up for air.

"Sorry," she said breathlessly. "I guess I got a bit carried away there."

She looked away with a somewhat guilty expression. It reminded him of when she handed him that first drink. Her face said guilt, but she seemed to derive some sort of perverse pleasure from reducing him to such a state.

"No, you're good. I just need a minute," he uttered between gasps.

He leaned back against the wall in a haze, completely overcome by what had just transpired. She was looking at him expectantly while she collected herself as well, and he glanced quickly over to his clock.

"Shit, it's already nine thirty. My dad's gonna be home any minute." He scrambled out of the bed, turning off the tv and checking the mirror.

"Yeah, of course," she said, jumping up to adjust her hair and her sweater. Their struggle had made her sweater ride up her chest, exposing a sliver of her midriff above the waistband of her jeans. It looked delicious, and he wondered if this was how the vampire felt all the time.

"I should get going anyways. Tomorrow's the last review day before finals start."

She rushed over to the front door, putting her coat back on and stuffing her feet back into her boots. Jacob followed her, hoping that the bulge would die down by the time he got there. She seemed jittery, fishing around in her pockets for her keys as if Billy would come busting through the door at any moment. It seemed there would be no discussion tonight. But then she stopped, and turned around slowly. She stood up on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck for one last kiss. It was softer, more gentle than before. He savored the moment, knowing it would all have to last until he saw her again.

"Goodnight," she whispered, before darting out the door.

Jacob stumbled back to his room, pulling off his shirt and unbuttoning his jeans, before collapsing onto his bed. He stared up at the ceiling, still in awe of events of the last several hours. There were no words, just an aching mix of elation and confusion. It looked like he was in for another rough night, but better dreams awaited him.


	10. Chapter 10: A Belated Confession

It had been ages since Bella had been on his motorcycle. Charlie didn't approve, of course. He liked to tell her about the gruesome result of an accident he'd witnessed a decade ago and glare out the window at any bike that passed. After days of finals, studying, and SAT prep seminars, she was in desperate need of a little excitement.

Tonight was going to be take-two for her plan the other night. She kissed him back, and then she practically tried to swallow him whole, and then she bailed. So much for clearing things up. So much for vowing not to toy with him anymore, not that she had planned on it. She should have seen it coming, but she wasn't prepared, and now there was a palpable tension between them. It made her feel even more awkward than she did on a regular basis. Just act normal, she told herself. But what was normal these days?

They arrived at the beach, the same one where they had walked together over a year ago. His hair was long, and he was still a goofy, happy-go-lucky boy with a crush. The shoreline was covered in the same blue, gray, and pink pebbles, all smoothed out from decades rolling about in the salt water. Back then, she was flirting with Jake to get information about the Cullens, something that still nagged her conscience. It wasn't fair to him, but she had never been very fair to him, had she? Over and over she saw the hurt in his eyes that she had inflicted with her constant waffling. Maybe after tonight she could achieve some kind of karmic balance.

The huge chunks of driftwood were still there, this time arranged in a circle around a cone-shaped pile of logs that was almost as tall as she was. Quil, Jared, and Embry had been hauling them in on their shoulders, with Paul and Sam arranging them over the kindling. Behind the logs sat one of the biggest piles of food Bella had seen outside some kind of eating competition: at least a dozen packages of hot dogs and buns and just as many marshmallows, a pile of potato chip bags, and what looked like an entire case of soda. The group waved at them as they finished up.

"So I'm extremely on-board with what I'm seeing here," Bella said, "but I have to ask: What's the occasion?"

"It's been kind of a rough year for us, and Sam thought a little party was in order," replied Jared. "Just a little break so we don't kill each other."

"And these idiots managed to make it through their finals," Paul gestured towards the junior members of the pack. "I don't know how they did it."

"Thanks for the support, Paul," Jacob quipped. "You all need any help?"

"We're just about done here." Quil tossed the last pile of wood next to the stack. "Hopefully it's not too wet."

Embry watched them enter and nudged Quil. He mumbled something she couldn't hear that made them both snigger. Jacob looked like he was ready to punch them.

"Can you two shut up at least until dinner? Bella hasn't eaten and I'd be sad if she passed out and didn't get to see me throw you both off the cliff."

The winds had subsided and much of the snow had melted since their meeting last week, though that didn't stop the wind coming off the water. The water seemed to flow peacefully, punctuated by the occasional disturbance she spotted by chance. Where there whales this close to the shore? In just a few minutes, a growing pillar of smoke was rising off the bonfire, and everyone was starting to gather around it, chattering like monkeys. It would be sunset soon, and she looked forward to seeing the sun setting off the west coast.

She hadn't seen the pack eating together since the incident, and she had forgotten how insatiable they were. She watched the six of them blow through nearly all of the hot dogs in the course of an hour, along with about a liter of soda apiece. These weren't growing boys; they were locusts. Perhaps maintaining such a high body temperature required an insane metabolism, she pondered, still working on her second hot dog. Their energy was incredible, but after a night or two in a row on patrol, they were practically narcoleptic.

There was something about being around them that felt homey. They roughhoused, teased, and fought almost constantly, but they were a family through and through. She'd always wondered what it would be like to have siblings, or even just a close family. She remembered the Cullens and the family she thought she would someday be a part of, but she had been blind to the coldness and isolation of their existence. The price of perfection and immortality was steep, and she was a fool for brushing it aside. There she would sit, like mountains behind her, unchanging, as the rest of the world came and went, doomed to forever remain in her tower.

Abandoning her real family, her life, the entire world she knew, was part of the package, but here, she could keep it all. She would never need to change in order to belong. She could just stay Bella, or whatever version of Bella she was now. The ordeal and the process of shedding her old skin was agonizing, but not as much as watching everyone she's every loved die. Sure, the constant yelling and playful violence was a pain in the ass a lot of the time, but this family was warm and real. She didn't want to be a mountain.

The beach grew darker as the sun began to set across the ocean. Shades of orange and purple were seeping into blue that had been there before, and the sunlight reflecting off the water made it sparkle. More logs were added to the fire as it began to shrink back, giving off a quick burst of heat that almost burned her cheeks. She looked at Jacob beside her, laughing at Paul as he nearly set himself on fire. His hand rested next to hers on the gnarled driftwood log, like an open invitation. She carefully slid her hand over, and felt him take it almost immediately. He must have been waiting for her to notice, or maybe it was all her doing.

"Hey Bells, you wanted to see the sunset, right?" he asked, almost leadingly.

"Yeah, I did actually. I haven't seen a real west coast sunset yet."

"C'mon, there's a good spot over by the cliff."

As they both stood to leave, she saw Quil whispering something to Embry that elicited snickering from them both, only for Jared to deliver a swift elbow to his ribs. They were all exchanging knowing looks, and receiving daggers from Jacob. Did the mind connection work in human form, or was she just missing something? As he lead her away, she could still feel their eyes boring into the back of her skull.

"What's their deal?" she grumbled.

She took his hand again as they made their way down the beach. She marveled at the way her hand now disappeared into his. He was so powerful, but still so careful with her. Jacob groaned and shook his head.

"They've been giving me a hard time lately."

"Because of the night you came over?" she asked. She had really hoped that they would let some of that go after his punishment, but she should have known better. Or maybe this was just par for the course when it came to the being in the pack.

"Partly. I know I deserve some of it, but lately it's just been about you, which pisses me off. I wanted them to at least hold off until you weren't there."

"About me?," she said, not sure why she would be a topic of discussion. "What about me? Like the other night or…?"

He was looking down at the sand as they walked, nudging a pebble along with every step.

"Jake?"

"In general," he said with some unease. " ... but also that."

She stopped, justifiably mortified by the prospect of his brothers being privy to everything she'd said and done in the last month. The actual mechanics of their mental link were largely a mystery to her, but she couldn't help but picture an ESPN instant-replay of her horn-dog antics; the way she clawed at his skin. The way she pressed against him so hungrily that she nearly pushed herself on top of him. She might have to kill him.

"You _told_ them?"

"Of course not!" he replied, obviously offended by the accusation.

"One of the pitfalls of turning into a giant monster is that we're all inside each other's heads while we're phased. We basically have zero privacy. I have to hear about all the dumb shit Quil and Embry get up to and every girl they go after."

She frowned. He seemed angry. This wasn't how she wanted the night to go.

"I'm doing my best here, Bells. They know the gist of things, but not the details."

"No details? None at all?" she asked incredulously. He paused for a moment to think.

"Ok, maybe a few details."

Bella groaned loudly, burying her face in her hands. She was not expecting to go through all this with an audience, especially not his brothers. She could handle Charlie's vague commentary, but at least he was otherwise totally in the dark. She could only imagine what the guys had said to him while they patrolled the forest. She could sympathize with Jacob's predicament, but not knowing was torture. Then again, she knew what Quil and Embry were like. Maybe she really didn't want to know.

"Bellaaa" he pleaded.

"All that stuff isn't really about you as much as it is me. They know my thoughts in excruciating detail, which means you come up... a lot. It's been annoying the hell out of them, actually. I'm trying not to think about anything like that while I'm with the pack but that got kind of impossible after…"

"...Right...Sorry."

"It's ok."

So she was right. They knew exactly what was going on. As if she needed more performance anxiety.

"So," she said. "Is there anything else they know that I should be aware of?"

He stopped, closing his eyes as he let out a deep breath.

"They know that I've been in love with you since I saw you on this beach over a year ago. They know that I've wanted to tell you for ages but was too afraid of ruining everything to do it. They know that I think about you every second you aren't around, every dream, every stupid hopeless fantasy I've ever had. They know exactly how I feel about you, how I've always felt about you. What they aren't sure about is exactly how you feel about me, and personally, I'd like that cleared up as well."

Her heart rate shot through the roof, like she had just braved the first drop on a rollercoaster. She always knew he loved her. Subtlety had never exactly been his strong suit, but she could admit to herself she had given him so many mixed signals that she wasn't sure how he had put up with her for so long. The countless hours spent wanting him, needing him, had rekindled a fire in her that she forgot she had in the first place. There was nothing left to hold her back from just reaching out and taking him for herself.

She had fantasized that something like this would happen, but now that it did, she had absolutely no idea what came next. And so she stood there, mouth open, trying to find a brain cell that was still functioning well enough to respond. How could she put the last six months into words, when some of it still eluded her? He watched her with rapt attention, waiting for her to say something. Anything.

"I'm glad you waited," she began. "I spent so much time trying to figure out what I was thinking or feeling or doing and worrying if I was just too screwed up now."

She could feel her eyes starting to well up, but she kept them in check at the cost of her voice.

"You mean so much to me, Jake. You've done so much all this time, and I didn't want you to ever feel like you'd be stuck taking care of some dumbass girl who can't keep herself out of trouble. I hate feeling like a child. I don't want to need to be protected by everyone around me."

A single tear trailed down her cheek as she looked up at him, still trying to choke it all out.

"I've been so shitty."

"No you haven't, Bells."

"Yes I have. I never meant to hurt you or mess with your head. There's so much I've wanted to tell you, so many times I should have just opened my mouth and said something. I've been selfish, and you were so patient while I took my sweet time sorting things out, but I know what I want now. I'm not one hundred percent better. I don't think I even know what that means, or if it's possible." She paused.

"But I do love you, Jake."

His body relaxed again, and he lunged forward to take her waist, pressing his lips firmly against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him even closer to her, exactly where he belonged. This should have been their first kiss, not the heated tongue-wrestling match from before. Still, she hadn't been such an anxious stuttering mess this time, so she was willing to pretend. Their pace slowed, still passionate, but sweet. She wasn't going anywhere. He belonged to her now.

They were finally interrupted by a chorus of loud whooping coming the direction of the bonfire.

"Jesus Christ, _finally!_ " Quil shouted down the beach.

He was met with a raised middle finger from Jacob, who was laughing against her lips. She hoped that this would be the end of the audience participation, but she couldn't help but giggle with him at the ridiculousness of it all.

It was at that moment that she saw it again over his shoulder: something had dipped back under the water. The rays of the waning sunset landed on it, turning it orange and red before it disappeared. She couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched.


	11. Chapter 11: A Heart Attack

Winter break was going by far too quickly. The night patrols had eased up after Victoria vanished, and he was grateful to have the more time off. The entire pack had become testy from the long hours and general drudgery of the job. A little more time apart would do everyone some good. The extra sleep was also much appreciated, but not as much as the time he spent awake.

The word was out now. Of course, it was essentially an open secret for the pack and half the tribe. Although some tribe members outside of their circle did not know the entire truth about the Cullens, they knew about Bella's previous involvement with them, and that was enough to make her worthy of some suspicion.

Bella had just let everything circulate by worth of mouth, which means that Charlie found out through an off-hand comment from Billy. He was pleased to have finally guessed right, but less so by the source. This made him slightly grouchier in the beginning, but his obvious preference for Jacob over Edward was very satisfying. Still, he would have to tread lightly; he saw the aftermath of her breakup with the blood-sucker, and he wasn't about to let anyone hurt her like that again. Not that Jake would. It took this long to finally get her, and he was never going to let her go.

With more eyes on them than before, he was very grateful for the tree outside Bella's window. His house was usually a no-go, so they relished the handful evenings that Charlie spent on night duty. Many of their free days and nights were spent together, usually on her couch, but real privacy was hard to come by in a town as small as Forks. The pack's running commentary was the most insufferable. They knew everything he did and said to her. He really had no idea how Sam kept his life with Emily under such tight wraps. He'd have to ask him for some advice. The pack would definitely appreciate it.

He could see her through the window, watching something on her laptop under the dim lights. She had already settled in for the night. She wore her usual long pajama pants and a thin black t-shirt that clung to her body, her hair down around her shoulders. Now if he could get to see her in one of his shirts, he could die happy. He lamented telling her he was coming ahead of time. Maybe if he just popped in again he'd get another show, and he'd be more than happy to help.

He crept in slowly, both to avoid startling her and to prevent any noises that might tip off Charlie. But of course, there was no way to achieve the former; she was easily the jumpiest person he had ever met, though not without reason.

She jumped, letting out a sharp squeak.

" Damn it, Jake! I told you not to sneak up on me," she said, trying to beat him to death with her pillow before he seized it. He grinned.

"You're so cute when you're mad. Not much motivation to listen, is it?"

"Is Charlie still here?" he whispered.

"No, he left for the Clearwater's about twenty minutes ago." Her annoyance partially dissolved and she gave him a wily smile.

She stood up to greet him properly with a kiss. He hated to admit it, but this was becoming one of his favorite things about finally being with her. Month after month of long nights and wonderful, almost painful dreams had tormented him. He would kiss her every second they spent together if it wouldn't nauseate everyone around them. What the hell, he'd do it anyways.

He pointed to her laptop, which was already set up with an episode of the show they'd been watching.

"So I know you're still on the fence, but I think one more episode will seal the deal for you," she said, leading him to the bed.

"To be clear, my main issue is the fact that there are about fifty old white guys with beards and I can't keep any of their names straight."

"Well if you read the books…"

"Bells-"

"It gets a lot easier, I promise. Plus, it's got giant wolves!"

"Yes but they're pets."

"Only for a little bit. They rip people apart later. And I hear that wolves make great pets," she teased, biting his lip.

He relented, and pulled her into his lap. She finished loading the video, and then wiggled backwards into her place. His arms fell on her stomach and her ribcage, his wrist occasionally bumping against her breast when he moved. It was already hard to pay attention to the show anyways, but she was the real reason he couldn't remember their names. There was no focusing when she pressed against him like that, and her choice of clothing had not made it any easier for him. Gazing down her body from this angle was much more entertaining. Two small nubs poked out through her shirt, and he wanted so badly to know what they looked like. One hand slid down to rest above the waistband of her pants, and he turned to plant a small kiss behind her ear. She pressed backwards into him, slowly rubbing herself against him.

"That's mean," he whispered in her ear.

"So are you," she replied, rotating her hips against him once more for good measure. She sure didn't like making things easy for him.

"If you keep this up, we aren't going to make it to the end of the episode." His voice was low and husky, and he could hear her laugh in her throat.

"Oh, is that a threat?"

"It's a promise," he growled.

He resumed kissing her neck, moving down from her ear, to the hollow of her jaw, down to her collarbone. He could feel the quickening of her heart under his lips, and her body relaxed completely. He found his hand had moved underneath the bottom of her shirt and was slowly working its way up her stomach and her ribs before coming to rest nervously on her sternum. He wasn't sure how to proceed; he didn't think he'd make it this far.

She squirmed against him. His own breathing became heavier, and he could feel the problem below growing even more. There was no way she didn't notice it. She moved her hand down to her hip and placed her hand on top of his, guiding it towards the other. He nipped on her ear, and she let out a groan, now pushing both of his hands further up her chest before reaching their target. Maybe he wouldn't have to imagine anymore after tonight.

Now she was just shamelessly grinding against him, her hands squeezing his around her breasts. She was so soft and sweet, it was all he could do to not tear the offending garment off her. She left him to his work, bringing her hands down to stroke his inner thighs, her nails running back and forth over the fabric of his jeans. Eventually they were met with an obstacle, and the sudden sensation of her touch made him gasp. She giggled and moved her hand away, a little red from the encounter.

"You're such a tease, Bells."

He responded by rolling her nipple between his fingers, and enjoying the long moan that followed.

"This isn't a fair fight," she whined.

"I agree," he murmured in her ear. "You've been teasing me mercilessly."

"I meant not fair for _me._ "

"No, this is called payback."

He suddenly slipped his tongue down the pale flesh of her neck to her collarbone, and began gently sucking. It's true: She _was_ delicious. He couldn't wait to taste the rest of her. He was stopped by her hand on his chest.

"Okay, that's it!"

She pushed him away long enough to turn around to face him, her legs coming to rest on either side of him. She was such a shy, anxious girl before. She couldn't even hold his hand without turning red. But now here she was, flushed, fighting for breath, trying to push him down on her bed. Her shirt had fallen disappointingly low, but his view was already blocked by her mouth. She traced her tongue lightly along his bottom lip to gain access. Her kiss was so eager and powerful that he could feel his entire body weakening with each passing second. She leaned backwards and began tugging upwards at his shirt. Before she could finish pulling his arms through, he took advantage of the situation, he worked his face under her shirt, and took her nipple in his mouth.

She let out a long, low moan that very nearly did him in. His hands returned to her back and her chest as he swirled his tongue around her. She grasped the hair on the back of his head, and it spurred him to grab the rest of her shirt and pull it over her head in one smooth motion. He took a moment to behold Bella, his Bella, half-naked and straddling him on her bed. They were glorious; two perky white mounds, her nipples tiny and pink, perched above her soft, milky stomach. The view sent electricity through his entire body, and he wondered if he would faint.

Clearly very proud of herself, she began to grin impishly, pressing her fantastic breasts onto his burning skin as she laid down on top of him. He couldn't catch his breath, and it felt like his heart might explode. She nipped at his neck, planting kisses further and further down until she had reached his muscled pecs. This was it. This was how he was going to die. Sexed to death without even getting to take off his pants.

She must have noticed his near catatonic state, because she stopped and sat up. Her fingers skimmed his stomach and the deep channel between his abs and his hip bone.

"Do you want to keep going?" she asked.

He gulped. A lock of hair had fallen in her face, which was smiling down at him like an angel. Or a demon. Definitely a demon.

"I would love to," he panted, well aware that he probably looked like a goldfish out of its bowl, "I just need a minute. Loving the enthusiasm, though."

She rolled off, landing next to him on her side. He rolled over to look at her, and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her into his chest and burying his face in her hair. Her scent was just as intoxicating as the rest of her.

"You're very good at that," she giggled, nuzzling into his neck.

"Oh yeah? Eh, beginners luck, I guess," he shrugged.

"Well I'm glad that you at least know what you're doing."

"What do you mean?" There was no way...

"This is all just as new to me as it is to you. At least I think it is." She blushed, and he put two and two together.

"You mean you've never-?"

"Nope."

"But...how?" he asked, baffled.

"You're telling me he managed to keep his hands off of you for that long? It took everything I had to keep mine to myself for a few months, and I have to say, there is no way I'm going to be able to go back now."

"Yeah," she said, suddenly quieter. Oh no. He shouldn't have mentioned the leech.

"It wasn't my choice. Wasn't even an option, really. I guess not accidentally killing me on a normal day was hard enough. Even then, I'm still not sure that he would have even if he could."

He rolled his eyes. "Well he's an idiot," he said, kissing her up and down the side of her face.

"So that was purely natural talent, huh?"

She laughed. "Or just a _lot_ of built up frustration."

"You and me both, honey."


	12. Chapter 12: A Natural Talent

She was the idiot. Her relationship with Edward was dramatic, sappy, and extremely chaste, like what you'd expect from a Disney movie. Even a quick taste of his icy tongue was off limits, partially because of his fear that she would ingest his venom. At the time, it appeared that it was all due to his old-fashioned sensibilities, that he was just too "gentlemanly" to taint her with his sinful urges. He was the gatekeeper of her innocence, and he seemed to view that innocence as some kind of point of pride. In retrospect, it wasn't about being "from another era;" it was moralism derived from a preoccupation with his very nature, his constant need to prove that he was not the monster he believed himself to be.

He was such a gentleman that he followed her around without her knowledge and gave her rules about where she could go and when, all to "keep her safe." He issued threats to defend her honor. He snuck into her house while she was asleep. But she had never been the object of such advances, and especially not from a golden prince who wrote songs and recited poetry. She was the Disney princess in a fantasy that girls only dreamed of, saved by her gallant beloved and swept away to an eternal happily ever after.

But courtly love did not make for a sustainable relationship. Their encounter with James was a traumatic look into the realities of the world she had so blithely walked into. Though she would not remain vulnerable and human for much longer, this new life would be riddled with pain and carnage, and there was a distinct possibility that she could become a predator. She would never see Renee again. She could kill Charlie. Jacob, her Jacob, would become her natural enemy.

Edward saw this within her. He could not read her mind, but he could sense her trepidation, the conflict within her that she did not want to address. As petty as it felt now, she wanted the beauty, the power, the perfect life at his side, and these revelations revealed uncomfortable flaws in her plans. Vampires could never love openly and freely; they could only selfishly drag humans into their coven under the guise of "saving them." There was no greater loneliness. Ironically, the most gentlemanly thing Edward ever did was set her free.

Bella could not help but admire the gorgeous beast of a man laid out in front of her; the way his eyes burned, his broad shoulders, the muscled arms that could lovingly embrace her or pin her down on the bed. Edward was hard, cold, restrained, but Jacob radiated a comforting heat, as if love came out of his very pores. They didn't need to change for each other; it was as natural as breathing. He could let go of himself with her. He could lose control without hurting her. He could give her exactly what she craved.

Her eyes wandered down his heaving chest, his stomach, his hips. She missed his long hair, but the tattoo on his shoulder was growing on her, only becoming more appealing to her "bad boy" sensibilities. This flawless body could have been carved from wood, but his skin was hot and pliable. How had she resisted his touch for so long, or even her own urges? Her best friend, her lover, was quite possibly the hottest man alive, both literally and figuratively. A tiny bit of hair peeked out from the shorts that hung low on his hips. And speaking of wood…

"So I was right," he said with a bemused smile. "You do enjoy the view."

She kissed him deeply, slowly breathing all of him in. He smelled of moss and rain and pines, but that familiar Jacob smell still clung to him. He hummed on her lips as began tracing the deep grooves below his stomach.

"Shut up," she laughed against his lips. "I'm not the one who needed a time-out."

"That's kinda below the belt there, Bells."

"It sure is…"

Jacob rolled his eyes.

He had always been beautiful, but she had been ogling him almost non-stop since his transformation. He was too tempting, and now she had no choice but to take him herself. She had a tremendous urge to corrupt him, to steal any last vestiges of his schoolboy innocence. He could take advantage of his superior strength to ravish her, but she had her own means of wearing him down. She couldn't deny that she wasn't a little apprehensive, a little afraid of not knowing how to navigate all of this. She only had instinct to guide her.

"It's because you were trying to give me a heart attack," he whispered, his breath sending a chill down her spine. He was really too good to be true.

"Oh really?" she said, undeniably smug. "So should I not do any of that ever again?"

"...I didn't say that."

"'Cause I can go put my shirt back on-"

"-Please don't."

"Are you sure?"

" _Yes,"_ he said with a low growl. She was going to have a lot of fun with him.

She climbed over him and sat upright, straddling him at the worst possible spot. She re-adjusted herself on top of him, taking special care to rub against him. She loved the dumb look on his face when she toyed with him. She loved the cute way he had tried to hide them when they kissed. She could feel him underneath her. His shorts were becoming far too constricting as she moved, and they were too rough to sit on for long anyways. They had to go. If her half-naked body was doing all this, he was going to lose his mind later on. The thought made her want him even more.

His breath caught. "You're doing this on purpose," he whined.

"Who, me?" she asked innocently, grinding softly on him again. "Never."

She backed up and knelt on the bed between his legs to observe the rest of him, scanning him up and down as he watched her curiously.

"What?" he asked. He seemed confused by the sudden reprieve.

"You know," she said, pointing to his shorts, "those don't look very comfortable."

"No thanks to you," He grumbled, looking away bashfully. The bulge in front of her was testing the limits of the fabric, and she loved it.

She crawled back on top of him, kissing her way up to his ear. She pressed her chest against him and began sucking wherever she could, tasting every inch of him that she could. She loved the noises he made and the way his body tensed when she laid hands on him, the way he began to squirm under her touch. It was so cute.

She worked on the spot below his ear as her hand glided down his stomach to the button of his shorts.

"Would you like some help?" she whispered in his ear. She could feel him shiver at the suggestion.

"Yes," he croaked.

"What's the magic word?" She played with the button, letting her fingers occasionally slide just an inch under the waistband. This _was_ mean, but it would pay dividends.

" _Please."_

His begging was too much for her. She could feel her own arousal becoming even more pronounced. She needed him so badly already, but she still wanted to play with her food before she ate it.

The button unfastened, and the zipper practically flung itself open from the strain of his erection. Her hand grazed his inner thigh for a moment before slowly tugging down the waistband, revealing a pair of gray boxers that were having a similarly rough time of it. And judging by the small wet spot near the tip, so was he. She dragged a single finger up the underside of the shaft as lightly as she could, and he whimpered in response. Back and forth, cruelly slow. She could feel the pounding of his heart through his chest.

"Bells...wait…"

"Mmmhmm?" she crooned, moving her hand to his stomach.

"You're going to seriously shorten my shelf life, here."

She giggled. This was too much fun, but she didn't want to pressure him again.

"Do you want to stop?"

"Absolutely not."

"So what should I do then?" she asked.

"Let me have my turn."

In a second, he rolled on top, pressing his body on hers with only one arm to prop himself up. His kiss was urgent, like he could not wait another second to taste her again. His hand slid past her hip bone and under her pants, grabbing her by her ass and hitching her thigh up around his waist. His thigh was between her legs, and he began grinding it upwards into her, prompting a long moan from deep in her throat. This must've been that payback he was talking about.

"It doesn't seem very fair that you're still wearing pants," he murmured, undoing the drawstring. He yanked the them down, revealing a black pair of panties. At least she remembered to wear the cute ones, she thought.

"Much better."

She knew they were completely soaked by now, and only getting worse by the minute. His hand ran over her breast and stomach, hovering around the lowest point of her stomach and dragging his fingers in circles just above her underwear. Slowly, they found their way onto the fabric of the crotch as he nipped at her ear, rubbing the spot where it was the most egregious.

"Glad I'm not the only one," he chuckled, seemingly relieved by his discovery.

"You're making it worse," she whined. His thumb drifted upward to carefully stroke the bud above, eliciting a hiss.

He grinned and began repositioning himself lower on her body.

"Kind of the point, Bells. And it's about to get a whole lot worse."

His hand disappeared under her panties and began sliding between her lips, dragging the wetness up to his previous spot. She inhaled sharply, and she was losing herself in a fog. Perhaps she was going to get more than she'd bargained for.

He attached himself to her nipple once more and slowly slid one finger inside her, making her cry out. She could feel her nerves ignite with the sensation.

He halted completely. "You ok?" he whispered.

"I am... _very_ ok," she panted.

He smirked again, and resumed sucking and swirling his tongue around her. She thought his fingers were large before, and now she had concrete proof that they were even bigger than that. She wondered if this would be a taste of what else he was packing.

He slowly slid in and out of her, and he looked like he was trying very hard to concentrate on the task at hand despite the drooling mass in his boxers, which had left a wet spot on her thigh. His finger returned all the way inside her and beckoned, rubbing inside of her with his fingertips. She arched her back, pushing herself further onto him, and let out a loud, airy moan. The deep groan from his chest vibrated against the nub in his mouth, and she was sure she was going to lose it. Good thing Charlie wasn't anywhere near the house.

He clearly knew he had it. She could feel her body tensing as she began to dig her nails into his shoulder, hoping she wouldn't make him bleed. He sped up in response, assaulting her weakest point. The end was near. She writhed and bucked underneath him, sweating, gasping, her cries becoming louder and more desperate, until the pleasure overtook her completely.

He slowly withdrew and took his place on the bed beside her. She wrapped her arms around his chest and nuzzled into his neck as they both tried fruitlessly to catch their breath.

"Are you sure you've never done that before?" she asked, knowing full well that it would all go straight to his head. He laughed, breathless and relieved.

"No, seriously, where did you learn that?"

"Embry has been insisting on sharing his what he knows since the beach party. He's convinced I won't be able to keep you happy. Though I really didn't need the graphic imagery while we were trying to patrol."

"Well if tonight is any indication, I don't think you'll have any trouble keeping me happy."

"Very glad to hear it. I'm looking forward to perfecting that."

She was stroking his chest as she hungrily eyed his package, which had received far less attention that night than she planned. Surely he wouldn't mind if she played with it for a while. He'd more than earned it.

She caressed it over his boxers, trying to feel out what laid beneath. It felt like she could have bent a steel bar around it, and the wetness was beginning to flow through them and drip down onto his stomach.

"Bella…" he groaned.

This was exactly what she wanted to hear. Her hand worked its way underneath, groping, squeezing, stroking, savoring every wonderful sound that escaped his lips, before letting it spring out, finally free of its constraints. It was thick, and the veins bulged from waiting for so long. It was nothing less than what she could expect from someone Jacob's size, but it would be a lot to reckon with going forward. The head was slick from his arousal, and single droplet ran down the underside and onto her wrist.

She took it in her hand and ran her thumb over the tip, spreading the slippery stuff from the top all the way down to the base. He shuddered, thrusting upward, before turning over to pull her face in for a kiss. Her strokes were slow and torturous, making him twitch and thrust into her hand. She could see that he had waited far too long for this, and it was high time she gave him what he wanted.

A piercing howl rang out that made him jump. Another soon followed, and another, and another, breaking the silence of the quiet, moonless night.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," he exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. He rolled face-first onto the pillow and let out what would otherwise be a deafening groan of frustration.

"Is that the pack?"

"Yes. Something is going on out there and they're calling for backup." Irritation permeated his voice. "They just _had_ to pick now."

She released him from her grip, and he begrudgingly stumbled back into his shorts, muttering something about Sam and his night off. Poor boy. He was just minutes away from one of the best nights of his life, only to be kicked back out into the cold. She caught herself gawking at the back of his body, and the view from behind was just as nice as the front.

She grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back onto the bed, planting kisses on his neck and up to his cheek.

"Don't worry; I promise I'll make it up to you later."

"Yeah, I was just really hoping for now instead of later," he grounched.

"Well I'm not going anywhere. You know I'll still be here whenever you need me."

"But I always need you," he said, leaning his head back into her neck.

She smiled and turned his head for one last kiss for the night.

"Be careful, Jake. I love you."

"I love you more."


	13. Chapter 13: An Uneasy Alliance

He charged through the trees to meet his brothers. Their howls, while horribly timed, were deeply concerning. Maybe this would be his chance to finally put that leech down once and for all, though he had really hoped they would have more time to plan it out. Killing Laurent was simple; he had no idea there were wolves in the area, so they had the element of surprise. This leech had plenty of time to figure out their patterns and learn how to evade them. The pack had not been so studious.

He couldn't change the past, but he could make her feel safe again. She would never have to think about vampires again. No more stalkers, no more hospital stays, no more killers. She could just be Bella. But In the back of his mind, there was always a nagging worry that she still wanted him, that the manipulations ran so deep that Cullen could waltz in at any time and carry her off without a fight. He wanted to trust her. He knew he needed to trust her. Someday, when she was ready, he was going to have to ask her.

The entire pack was yelling in his head the second he phased.

 _Shut up, Jacob. I don't need to hear you bitching about your blue balls._

 _Just tell me why you called me out here, already,_ Jacob huffed.

 _She's back._

 _We tracked her scent but we keep missing her_

 _Where?_

 _Somewhere near the old edge of our territory. I think she's messing with us._

 _Jared is just up ahead. He's going to come from the side so we can corner her. Paul, I want you on the other side._

 _Got it._

The rest of the pack converged on the same point, following the sickly stench towards the clearing that used to separate their territory from the Cullens. Something wasn't right, though. Her behavior, the smell, none of it was like what they had tracked. The smell burned his nose, but it was somehow different from the the redhead.

 _I don't think this is her. It doesn't smell right._

 _What do you mean it doesn't smell right? Did she bring a friend this time?_

 _No, it's something else. We might have a new one._

 _Fantastic. And here I was thinking I was going to get to sleep tonight._

When the trees cleared, there was a white figure standing on the other side, its yellow eyes looking back at them through the blackness. It did not try to run, or even move, but stood deathly still. What, did she send someone to parley? She should know that they would shred it on the spot.

The pack stood by the edge of the clearing, snarling and snapping, one sudden movement away from leaping the chasm and tearing the bloodsucker apart. He recognized where they were: the same meadow where they put the black haired leech down.

"I'm not here to fight you." It's voice rang out, and he instantly recognized who it was.

 _It's him. It's Cullen.._

 _What the hell is he doing here?_

 _He clearly has a death wish._

 _Easy, Jake. Remember the treaty._

 _Fuck the treaty. He has no business being here._

 _What're you going to do, kill him? We're supposed to be looking for the redhead. Cullen isn't a threat._

 _Cover me. I'm phasing back._

 _That's a terrible idea why-_

He leapt out of furry skin, and his connection to the pack was cut off. Jacob was human once again. He could still feel himself trembling from the pure hatred that he had held onto for so long. Just one wrong move. Just one excuse to rip off his head and end that condescending expression once and for all.

"I've only come to talk. I will still abide by the treaty. But I suppose I could call you if you are not amenable to that."

"Sam, do you mind if I approach? Shouting across the line isn't very efficient. This isn't even really my territory anymore. You have permission to cross the line to my side if you would prefer. "

Sam growled, but seemed to settle down more than the rest of the pack, who were still snarling and baring their teeth. Sam and Jacob proceeded to the middle of the meadow with great unease. Cullen had a lot of nerve showing up in Forks again after what he pulled, and he had no intention of going easy on him.

"I don't think that's unjustified," Edward replied coolly. He hated that a vampire could read his thoughts. The pack was bad enough, but an enemy was one hundred times worse.

"Get the hell out of my head, leech. You wanted to talk, so start talking."

"Believe me, I take no pleasure in hearing any of it. You're clearly still a novice when it comes you shutting out...certain thoughts." he wrinkled his nose. "I can still smell her on you, dog."

Jacob stepped forward before stopping himself from losing his temper. Phasing back would make it much harder to keep his cool around him. His natural instincts had a way of trying to override his better

"Give me one good reason why we shouldn't tear you to shreds right now," he snapped, perhaps he was too angry to keep himself from phasing back.

"Because we share a common goal. I can help you kill Victoria."

He abhorred the idea of spending a second longer with Edward than he had to, but he couldn't dismiss such an offer outright. He couldn't deny her a chance to live freely again. No vampires means no more late night patrols, no more sleeping through class, no more new kids ruining their lives in this sick existence. His thoughts could be just his own, and he could once again have Bella all to himself. Being a regular high school student again would be nice. But this one better stay away from her.

"I will. You have my word. In fact, I don't want her to know I was ever here. I've believe I've done more than enough harm where she is concerned."

"You're fucking right you have. Do you have any idea what she was like after you left? For months, I watched her drag herself around like a zombie. You took years off her life. She barely ate, barely slept, and for a while I was scared she was going to hurt herself. You have no idea what you put her through or how long it took for her to even smile again. I swear to god, if you undo any of that, if you give me any reason to think that you might interfere in her life ever again, I will put your head through a wall."

Jacob heaved, too angry to even focus on what they were supposed to be doing. He sometimes imagined what he would say if he ever saw Cullen again. Every tear she shed because of the leech enraged him, every time she jumped at a sudden noise or woke screaming from a nightmare. He hated that she still thought of him. He could always tell by the distant look in her eyes when his name came up. She might find a way to forgive him someday, but there was no way in hell he would. He hoped Edward would feel guilty for what he'd done the the rest of his cursed existence.

Edward gave a faint chuckle, somehow amused by Jacob's declaration. "I'm glad she's in such good hands."

"However, I am aware that there has been one of your own who has already become a victim of the volatility of your kind. I would like to assure you that should she similarly come to harm, I would be happy to return that threat to you tenfold."

Jacob stared at him in silence, his eyes burning with hatred and distrust. How dare he even mention Emily as if his coven hadn't taken human lives before, and especially in front of Sam. His diplomatic skills could use some work.

"What makes you think we can't take care of the redhead?"

"Nothing," he replied, his voice somehow still very serene. "Your pack is powerful, but limited in what it can do."

"I've been tracking her for a month," he continued. "You forget that I can hear her thoughts. The reason you lost her for so long is that she's been covering her scent by hiding in the water about a half mile off the coast. I believe she retreated towards Seattle for one last feed before swimming back to the peninsula."

The pack resumed its defensive stance, turning to each other and snarling. Sam was obviously incensed. Even he couldn't deny such a huge oversight. She was lulling them into a false sense of security, and it wouldn't have been too much longer before she finally got to Bella and tore through the rest of Forks, literally right under their noses.

"Precisely. This is exactly why you need my assistance. I know how she thinks. I know how she's planning her attack and when. It would be foolish to refuse that information, but if you need more convincing, my offer is this: let me help the pack destroy her once and for all, and there will never be another Cullen in Forks again."

Jacob and the pack stared him down, unmoving, unblinking, and unconvinced. He still believed that there were ulterior motives to this, no matter now honorable he made them out to be.

Why?" Jacob started. "Why would you do any of this, after all this time?"

Edward's usual cold, calm demeanor slipped for a moment, and for the first time, Jacob could see something honest and sincere stirring under his stony exterior.

"Why do _you_ risk your life protecting her, Jacob? The very same reason as me: I love her. I always will. I thought that I could give her everything she wanted, that I could keep her safe from the horrors of my world, but in the end I knew I never could. There would be no end to her suffering if she stayed by my side, even if she joined the coven. She's young. She had the chance for a normal life surrounded by her family and her friends. She could go to college, have a career, have children. She wouldn't have to sacrifice her life for a selfish creature who nearly let her die. I knew she didn't understand the consequences of living this half-life, and nothing I ever said could convince her otherwise. Leaving her was the most difficult thing I've ever done, Jacob, but I don't regret it."

"I see now that she's happy again, that she will have the life I wanted for her. I know how deeply you love her, and the care you take to protect her. And I know how ardently she loves you. I'm coming to you now to give her one last gift: Peace. Once this is all over, you will never see or hear from me ever again."

Jacob glanced over his shoulder at Sam who, while still clearly agitated by Edward's presence and his unnecessary commentary about his fiance, nodded his consent to the deal. An offer Jacob couldn't refuse. Jared whined, pawing at the dirt in front of him. Quil and Embry still had not let up. They were still trying to prove themselves.

"She wants to wait for another snowstorm. It seems that fresh, heavy snowfall helps to cover her scent, though not entirely. Knowing what Forks is like this time of year, it could be days or weeks."

Fantastic, he thought. Plenty of time to plan and practically no notice when it came. And what the hell was he going to tell Bella?

"Tell her the pack discovered it on their own," Edward said, intruding on his thoughts once again. "I know you made her a promise, and I apologize for making you break it."

"I'll be keeping an eye on Victoria so she doesn't suspect anything, so please carry on as you have been. Sam, I'm happy to coordinate with you. I won't cross the line without your permission, but the pack has an open invitation to my side when the time comes."

Sam snorted.

"Wonderful."

"One more thing, Cullen," said Jacob. "What really happened last summer, when she was in the hospital? I know she didn't fall through a window."

"I'm afraid you're going to have to ask her that yourself. It's not my story to tell."

And with that, Edward turned away and disappeared into the trees.

Several voices rang out the moment he transformed back.

 _We don't need the bloodsucker's help. We can take her out ourselves._

 _Don't be an idiot, Quil. It's a win-win. No more leeches and you might live to awkwardly creep on some poor girl another day._

 _So you're ok with this? Do you really believe that Cullen won't try to take her back?_

 _Of course I'm not ok with this!_ Jacob snarled. _He might even use this secret against me. I just have to trust her._

 _Having Cullen's information can only help,_ Sam interjected. _It'll increase the chances that none of you are going to end up dead. I don't want to hear another word about it tonight. We finish our rounds and then we will start working on our strategy tomorrow night._

 _Does that mean I'm done for the night or-_

 _No. Now that we know where she's been hiding, I want us to stay vigilant. I want to keep an eye on Cullen, too. You'll have all the time in the world afterwards, and at least none of us will have to see any of it._

 _Thank god_

 _Quiet, Paul. Everyone still gets their usual nights, but with the understanding that you will drop everything if you get called in. We can talk to her tomorrow, Jacob. Everyone else is expressly forbidden from mentioning Cullen to or in front of Bella. If it becomes necessary to do so, it will be Jacob's responsibility._

Jacob let out a howl that soared over the forest and through the mountains, a warning to any vampire who dared to cross him.


	14. Chapter 14: A Family Dinner

It had been a while since he called her. There had been little need until now. After their night on the beach, he devoted every moment that he wasn't sleeping, at school, or on duty, to her. He hadn't been that happy or exhilarated in forever, and her graduation was growing closer everyday. So of course, now he would be forced to resort to voicemails and messengers for most of the week.

He feared a repeat of the last time he filled her in on the details. He hated seeing her like that, shrinking to the tiny ball that Sam found her in, but he didn't trust the leech not to try to take advantage of her vulnerability. He knew she wouldn't go running back to him after everything that happened with the Cullens, after everything she and Jacob shared. He hoped. She would never...Of course she wouldn't. Jealousy was a dark and dangerous path that he wanted to avoid at all costs.

He pulled into the driveway at the Swan house in one of the few shirts he still bothered to wear. Charlie would be home, no doubt. As much as he enjoyed her not-so-subtle glances at his physique, he didn't want to get on the police chief's bad side. As per his luck, it was Charlie that answered the door. He rubbed his eyes, shielding them from the sun. He must have been asleep.

"Hey, Jacob. I'm guessing you're here for Bella," he grumbled, ushering him into the house.

He was still understandably sore about Edward, so any suitor was going to be closely scrutinized, even one that he liked. Charlie had to have known before. The entire reservation probably knew before she did. Jacob had always worn his heart on his sleeve.

"Yessir. Is she ready?"

"Where are you all going?" he asked, ignoring his question; a clear power move.

"Emily's house. She hasn't seen Bella in forever so she wanted to make dinner and maybe do a movie or something. The whole pa-group is coming over and she always makes enough to feed the entire tribe. "

Charlie seemed to loosen up when he mentioned Emily. He knew her through Billy, and no one could could dislike Emily once they met her. Well, maybe one. Hopefully this would make it easier when they kept her there during the fight. That didn't mean he was done with his scary-overprotective-dad routine. He liked to keep his gun holster on a hook by the entryway as a warning.

"Don't you get cold?" he asked, gesturing towards Jacob's thin shirt.

"It's the Quileute genes. We've got thick blood."

"Right…"

Bella's father has never been one for lively conversation, and too many years spent hanging out with Billy had only made it worse. He figured he had another ten seconds before the awkwardness set in and he would have to say something. Much to his relief, she suddenly came tumbling down the stairs. Saved by the Bells.

"Sorry, Jake. I'm ready now."

Her long hair bounced with every step, and her jeans clung to her body in a way that made him wonder how he was going to be able to behave himself. The frosty air forced her into a sweater, a concept she was still somehow grappling with. It was green with a neckline that exposed her collarbones, but it was also easily two sizes too big. Everything was too big on her. Jake was probably to big on her...She needed to stop being so cute if he was going to keep up this gentlemanly charade with Charlie.

"It's ok. Fighting that sweater off must've taken forever, and it looks like you lost.

"Shut up."

"No, seriously. I think it ate you."

Charlie sighed and rolled his eyes before shuffling back to his chair.

"Bye, Dad!" she chirped, giving him a quick kiss on his scruffy cheek. She threw her coat on with record speed and took Jacob's hand.

"Have her home by eleven," he called, already deep into the newspaper. Is this what Charlie's good side looked like?

Emily's house was already full to the brim with the Quileute boys. As usual, these giant man-children were acting like bulls in a china shop, but Emily seemed unbothered by it. She was tending to several pots on the stove when they arrived, and she turned to greet them as soon as they made it to the kitchen.

"Bella!" she called, hugging her tightly and grinning from ear to ear. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm tired of dealing with boys all the time."

The sound of Bella's name made the rest of pack pause to greet her. Quil waved at her, winking at Jacob once she looked away. He better not keep that up all night.

A high pitched beeping carried over the din.

"Oh no! The rolls! I promise we'll catch up later Bella. Just let me get these animals settled." She scurried back to the oven to save dinner.

Quil was busy antagonizing Paul, who was trying to have a conversation with Sam and Jared. Embry was busy with his shift, and Jacob hoped Emily would save him something. Maybe he would miss the meeting and lose the chance to make a joke at his expense.

Emily began hauling huge bowls of food to her equally oversized kitchen table. Rice, vegetables, mashed potatoes, chicken, and fresh rolls, easily enough for an army. Quil began reaching over the table with both hands, only to get smacked with a wooden spoon.

"Bella gets served first. If I left it up to you all there wouldn't be anything for either of us."

Jacob could see her blush and laugh nervously. She hadn't spent as much time with Emily as the others, and being the center of her attention seemed to both flatter and embarrass her. But she looked happy, or at least content, with the pack. She smiled and laughed at their stupid antics and shot back when they got too snarky. She would fit well in the family.

The cacophony was quickly replaced by the sounds of chewing. It looked like they would demolish this spread in just a few minutes. Jake had already torn through three plates on his own, but Bella was still working on her first. He leaned over and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to plant a kiss on her temple, and she blushed again. She wasn't so shy the night before.

They sat around the table, surely stuffed to the gills but not griping about it like she would have. Emily took the bowls back to the kitchen with Bella's help, but the lively atmosphere did not return. He supposed it was time to get down to business.

"So, is there really a movie or is this a wolf night?" she asked. He always knew she was smart, but she was never great at picking up signals. Either she was getting better or the guys were getting worse.

"No," said Sam hesitantly.. "It's wolf business. We have news."

He could see her heart drop into her stomach. He took her hand and rubbed it gently with his thumb. Sam cleared his throat.

"So, you know we lost track of Victoria over the last few weeks. Her scent disappeared and we thought she might have gone into Seattle or Vancouver to hunt under the radar. It turns out that wasn't the case."

He checked on her again. She was upright and not vomiting, so that was a step in the right direction, but he could hear her breathing becoming uneven.

"We've discovered that she has been laying low somewhere off the coast. She knew we couldn't pick up her scent over the water."

"I knew it," she said, her voice quiet but controlled. "I saw something in the water the day of the beach party. I thought it was a seal or something but it looked so...odd…How did you find out?"

The tribe exchanged looks, all waiting for Sam to give the official story.

"New bodies have turning up on the shoreline near Seattle. We started keeping an eye on our beaches, and dead seals were starting to wash up. She has to come up if she's going to feed, and it seems that she's figured out how to minimize her scent with heavy snowfall. That was how she made it to the water last time without us knowing."

She closed her eyes, and her hand was shaking in his. This was going to go downhill fast. They needed to start working on the good news before he had to explain to Charlie why his daughter was comatose.

"But, this means that she is moving in, and we have a very good idea of when she is planning to strike. Forecast says there's a snowstorm headed in our direction by the end of next week."

"The end of next week…" she repeated. The air was still.

"So what's the plan? What can I do?"

Her voice was suddenly firm and resolute. She was going to insist on being actively involved in this, wasn't she? He should have known. What he did know was that getting her to go with the plan and not divert from it would be a challenge. She was too stubborn for her own good.

"That's part of the reason you're here. The safest place for you will be on the reservation. You will stay the night at Emily's house, and we will arrange for Charlie to be at Billy's so we can keep an eye on him as well. Embry will patrol the houses and then join us once we catch up to her."

"So I get to sit in the house the whole night waiting to find out if you're all still alive?" And there it was.

Jacob snorted. "I told you she wouldn't go for it."

"Let me do something," she said. It was a command, not a request. There was the bossy woman who was pushing him over the night before.

"There's nothing _to_ do. We're having a strategy meeting tonight to decide on the particulars and then we have a week to prepare."

"What if I could lure her somewhere?"

" _No_ ," Jacob growled, squeezing her hand tightly. "There's no way in hell you are going to be live bait."

"Maybe not live bait, though it wouldn't be the first time." She gave him a sardonic smile. "What if we could spread my scent around somewhere? I know she'll head for my house first but maybe smelling me closer by will throw her off. "

Sam looked at Jacob from across the table. He was seriously considering it, if not to help pacify her. It made Jacob uneasy, even if the plan had merit. They needed to minimize her involvement in any of this.

"Maybe. We will need to discuss the logistics amongst ourselves first. Jacob?"

"Right. C'mon, Bella. We should get going," tugging at her hand.

He anticipated a very uncomfortable night ahead. Either he was about to get an earful, a breakdown, or nothing at all, and he wasn't sure which he'd prefer.

Bella rose stiffly, not making eye contact with any members of the pack.

"Thank you for dinner, Emily. It was wonderful. I guess we'll have to catch up next time."

With that, she took back her hand and marched ahead of Jacob out the front door. No need to guess anymore. Within seconds of her departure, Embry burst in through the back door.

"Hey guys! What'd I miss? I'm starving. Emily, did you save me anything?"

The room was completely still, with no one looking up to acknowledge him. Poor kid. He had a gift for comedic timing, and it was never at the right time. It was a shame the Seinfeld bass riff didn't play every time he entered the room.

Jacob sighed heavily. "I'll be back. You guys can fill me in later."

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for Hurricane Bella, as he closed Emily's door behind him. She was sitting on the porch steps, completely still, staring off into the distance. He walked over to her slowly, almost afraid to make any sudden movements, and sat down beside her. Waiting.

"This is bullshit."

"Bells come on-"

" _You_ come on. Did you agree to all this?"

"I don't exactly have a choice. You know that. I get input and then it's out of my hands."

She put her hands over her face, letting out a guttural scream in frustration.

"I am so sick to death of the wolf magic bullshit. This whole thing is so patronizing. What the hell am I supposed to do? Sit at home knitting? Maybe we can install a widow's walk so Emily and I can gaze wistfully into the distance while we listen to one of you getting killed."

Her fear had turned to anger, but everything else was still there. He couldn't tell her they would have backup, that there would be nothing for her to worry about. He admired her love and concern for the pack, but they couldn't afford to keep a babysitter posted at the house all night.

"Bella, do you really think that this is a good idea?" His own frustration was leaking out.

"I think it's better than doing nothing." That was it.

"No, being live bait is a terrible fucking idea. I can't protect you in the middle of a fight. It would take just a second for her to get her hands on you and snap your neck. I can't protect you or the pack if there's a distraction. I get that you don't want to be left alone but you're being kind of selfish right now."

He could see how much his words stung, and he didn't want to say it, but maybe that's what it would take to get her to play ball. No matter how mad she got at him, it was still better than seeing her throat torn out in front of him. He face morphed through several different emotions before landing on one.

Not anger. Tears.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her into his chest.

"I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to be so harsh but I really need to understand."

Her steely resolve had dissolved into pained weeping. She pressed her face into his shoulder, soaking the sleeve and smudging the mascara she'd worn for the occasion. He'd tried being gentle with her before, but she was too stubborn to handle with kid gloves, and she was stronger than that. He knew she was tired of feeling like their damsel in distress. She wanted to feel like a capable adult and be taken seriously again, especially by the pack, but she had a way of picking the weirdest hills to die on.

He squeezed her tightly, stroking her hair while she regained her composure.

"Jake, I'm sorry. You know I-"

"I know. Just please take my word for it when I tell you we can handle it, ok?."

She sniffed.

"Look, I'll talk to Sam about the scent thing. Maybe it can help us draw her out."

"It still feels like you're just humoring me."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Only a little bit."

"Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"It's ok, you know; You're allowed to be worried about yourself."

She grabbed him around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Ok."

He sighed, relieved that he'd managed to talk her down from a cliff. Maybe his powers of persuasion were better than he thought. Maybe he should have been alpha instead.

"Bella, do you trust me?"

She paused and looked into his eyes. "Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I do. Idiot."

"Ok, I'm very glad we got that settled," he laughed. She was still so cute when she was angry, even when it was at him.


	15. Chapter 15: An Old Scar

He leaned in for a kiss. It was soft and reassuring, and made her let go of the anger she'd felt towards him and his brothers. She tried to remember that they were made for this, that it would be six-on-one, that they already had the upper hand. It was the feeling of helplessness that haunted her dreams. She was powerless to protect others, and she had to rely on everyone else to take care of her. Maybe that was a romantic idea when she was with Edward, but it was a burden, and it made her miserable. As long as Victoria was out there, Bella's destiny was yet again in someone else's hands. And even if the pack was successful, it was no guarantee that she would be the last vampire to terrorize Forks.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," she said, apprehensive.

She prayed it wasn't about Edward. As much as Jacob hated him, she could see the morbid interest he still held in Edward, as if every word and deed gave him permission to hate him even more. She didn't want to feed a fire that already burned too hot. On top of that, she was ashamed of her willingness to stay with him, to lie to everyone, and to defend all the Cullens. The embarrassment rivaled the memory of anything she did in middle school, any stupid thing that had ever come out of her mouth. Maybe everyone was right: maybe she deserved to be treated like a child.

"What happened last summer, when your dad said you fell through a window?"

She laughed darkly. Well, she got what she asked for. She knew this day would come eventually; He would ask, she would tell him, he would go on a rampage, and she would have to keep him from burning the Cullen's house to the ground. It was a good thing they'd packed up long before she she had to recount the story.

"I know you don't like talking about him. I don't really like talking about him either. I just wanted to know what happened to you. It wasn't just the breakup, was it?"

She shook her head and looked away, too scared to watch his pulled back the sleeve of her sweater and turned over her wrist to the U-shaped scar, holding it out in front of him. It was still as pink as the day she left the hospital. It was never going to heal properly after being exposed to the venom. The long sleeves of her sweaters and flannel shirts usually kept it covered, but she used concealer on the handful of hot days that graced Forks. Seeing it only brought back memories of the attack. It would always be a painful reminder of her time as the vampire girl that would follow her for the rest of her life.

He turned her tiny wrist into the light to inspect it. She watched his eyes widen in horror when he realized what he was looking at.

"Holy shit!" he gasped. "Is that-?"

"Yeah." She swallowed and waited for the coming storm.

"But you're not-"

"Yeah."

He looked at her, clearly disturbed and befuddled by her revelation, before examining her wrist once more. He traced the line that those teeth had imprinted into her skin. His head snapped up to study her face, which was as still and unbroken as the water. There was no easy way to do this. She sighed bleakly.

"Remember those murdered hikers last spring? The ones people thought were bears or mountain lions?" "The ones I thought were the pack at first?"

"Bloodsuckers?"

"Yes. Three of them. Victoria, her mate James, and Laurent, who you've already met."

"That was the one we killed?"

"Right. Thank you for that, by the way."

"My pleasure."

"So I was with the Cullens when we met their coven, and James decided that he wanted to eat me. Not for food or anything, more like it was _The Most Dangerous Game_ or something. Edward sent me to Phoenix to hide while they hunted for them, but James got to me first. He told me he had my mom hostage, and I fell for it. He managed to get his teeth in me before Edward and the others arrived."

She rested her forehead on her palms and closed her eyes. Jacob was inhaling slowly again. She knew this would make him angry. At least they'd taken off to parts unknown so he wouldn't try to kill them. He exhaled and slowly opened his eyes again. She was sure he was going to phase, and she felt relief wash over her.

"Why aren't you one of them?"

"I almost was," she said looking down at her feet. "In fact, I begged him to let me turn. I was even kind of pissed when I woke up in the hospital still human," she laughed. Jacob was unamused. The very idea of her becoming his mortal enemy seemed to linger uncomfortably in the back of his mind even now.

"Edward sucked out the venom himself. He made the call when I was too stupid to make the right one. I didn't recognize it for the gift that it was. Despite everything else, I will always be grateful to him for that."

She stroked his back while he processed her story. She could feel him trembling under her touch.

"Why did you want them to turn you? For _him?"_ he asked, his voice tinged with bitterness.

"Yes. Well, partially. Being powerful and beautiful and immortal is pretty alluring on it's own. But I really had no idea what that meant, everything I would have to give up for someone who would ultimately dump me." She chuckled, and the corner of her mouth turned up in a strange half-smile.

"It's so ludicrous it's almost funny." She shook her head.

"God, I was such a moron," she groaned. "When did I get so flighty? I never thought I was the kind of girl who threw her life away to be with a guy. That was something my mom would do. I was supposed to be the responsible one. But hey, at least they recognized a shallow idiot when they saw it."

"You're anything but shallow, Bells. Or an idiot."

"Well I definitely was back then. I know you don't like hearing it, but the Cullens are good people, Jake. They knew they were cursed, and they weren't going to willingly subject me to that."

"At least that's one thing he and I can agree on. I guess I really do owe that leech big time."

His words were somewhat mysterious to her, but she was trying to calm him down, so she decided not to press the issue. Maybe there would be a little less animosity after this. Maybe he wouldn't cringe every time he heard the name.

"So now you know. The nightmares, my dark period, it wasn't really about getting dumped. It was about how he pulled the rug out from under me before I had even really worked through the ordeal with James. He just left me to figure it out on my own, and he knew I couldn't talk about it to anyone."

Her eyes felt misty again. No, she'd already cried once tonight. She refused to turn into a waterfall again. She studied his face for some clue as to what he was thinking. She loved the way she could read his face, but he could hide it well when he wanted to. His eyes narrowed, and he gazed up at the waxing moon.

"Do you still think about him?" His question was blunt, but she could still hear the tiny crack in his voice.

"Not anymore. Not really. For a while I imagined what I would say to him if I ever saw him again. It was pretty vindictive. Lot's of name-calling and hand gestures. I probably would have screamed myself hoarse. And then after a while I just let it go. I couldn't bear the weight of all that anger and sadness anymore. It was worse than the venom, but this time I had to decide to suck it out myself. Now I'm just glad he's gone. I'm going to miss Alice and the rest of them, but it's for the best. I don't want to be anyone's pet anymore."

His gaze remained unbroken, but he rested his hand on her knee. She knew he wanted to be supportive, even as he was trying to quell the wolf inside of him.

"I don't think I'll ever let it go," muttered Jake. "I remember what you were like back then too well. It hurt to watch. I hope I never see you like that again"

She stroked his hair and stretched upward to kiss his cheek. He was just as stubborn as she was. After everything that had come to pass that night, she couldn't blame him. She took his hand from her knee and interlaced their fingers.

"I hope you will someday, years from now when this is all in our rear view mirror. I have so many good things in my life now, so much to look forward to. I can go to college, get a job, have a family, join the circus, get really old and cranky and scare the neighborhood kids."

He chuckled.

"And I have you," she smiled, turning his chin to face her. "The best thing to come out of this mess yet."

She cupped her hands around his face and pressed her lips to his. In all the darkness, he was there. No matter what terrors she faced, he had stayed by her side. She would never have to do this alone again.

"You know," she began. "All of this could have been avoided if I had just dated Mike Newton instead."


	16. Chapter 16: A Tense Beginning

Jacob had been dreading the end of this week. After the dinner at Emily's house, his anxiety about the entire ordeal had shot through the roof. Keeping Edward a secret from Bella became more and more difficult, not because he wanted to tell her, but because he feared she would learn he had hidden it from her. He'd be leaving her largely unprotected to hunt Victoria down and feared some kind of harebrained heroics from Bella should things not go according to plan. To top it all off, he hadn't had a chance to see her again since the meeting, and the pack had been giving him hell for his uncontrolled imagination. So naturally, the week flew by.

Knowing that he and Paul would not be able to remain civil, Sam and Jared elected to meet with Edward to discuss storm was expected to begin just before sundown on Saturday and reach full-swing by the very early morning. Sam acquiesced to Bella's insistent request to help, and sent Quil to her house to pick up some old t-shirts and hair from her brush to spread around. Not the most prestigious job in the world, but someone had to do it. Maybe it would teach him for being such a smartass.

Charlie had already left for their house to watch some hockey game with Billy, which would give him plenty of time to pick her up and fill her in on the finer details of the night. Much to his chagrin, tonight would have to be all-business until the fight was over. That is, of course, until she opened the door.

She wasn't dressed enough for a night like this. Jeans and her usual shirt-cami combo was a poor choice for a snowstorm. She didn't even have her coat. It looked like she had done something different with her hair.

"Hey Bel-"

She placed her arms around his neck and greeted him with a kiss, pulling him towards her into the doorway, and closing it behind him with her foot. Her fingers curled into his hair as she pressed her body against his, and he lost all sense of focus on the task at hand. His desire had been nagging painfully at him for over a week at that point, and he was very weak to her games. She always loved making things difficult. He carefully pulled her off.

"Hi," she murmured. She was smiling, but he could feel her trembling in his hands. That wasn't just a greeting; there was something going on. She took him by the hand and began leading him into the living room.

"Come inside, it's freezing."

As much as she tried to hide it, she was upset. She barely made eye contact with him as she dragged him away. His pants were still rubbing uncomfortably against him, and now he was stuck between her and keeping to the plan.

"I'm almost done packing everything up."

"We should really get going soon. They're expecting me."

"It won't be long, I swear."

She led him up the stairs to her room. Her bag was sitting on the floor, already zipped up and seemingly ready to go. It felt like he had just stepped into a bear trap

The door had barely closed when she was suddenly on him again, kissing him even more intensely than in the entryway, grabbing and clawing at his back, sucking hard enough on his neck that he was sure she was going to leave a mark. He tried to back away and bring himself back to rationality, but there was no stopping her. The back of his knees finally hit the bed, and that was when she pushed him over completely.

His mind was becoming cloudy with the taste and smell of her, the fierceness with which she had his attacked body. He wanted so badly to touch her again, to hear her say his name again. He had imagined this scenario at least twice a day since the last time he was in her room. First the bed, then their clothes, then…

He needed to snap out of it. Her desire was becoming completely irresistible, but he could feel the same fear and apprehension radiating off of her that he did before. This wasn't Bella. Something else was behind the wheel.

Before he knew it, her hand had found its way to his arousal, rubbing over his pants, and then sliding into to the waistband. Her mouth was at his throat, her nails digging into his shoulder, when she suddenly began fumbling with the button.

"Bells…"

Of course he wanted this. His need had been out of control since the night he first kissed her. There was no amount of cold showers or stroking himself to remain sane. He wanted her so badly, but not like this. Not with a looming deadline and the Grim Reaper watching him from the corner of the room.

"Bella...stop...come on."

He gently pushed her off and rolled over to get back on his feet.

"I-I'm sorry," she said meekly. She wouldn't look at him, and she was clearly hurt by the rejection.

"It's ok," he whispered, pulling her up from the bed and into his arms. She was still trembling, on the verge of tears.

"It's going to be ok." He stroked her hair. "We both are. Just one more night and then I'm all yours."

"You promise?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"Promise."

He kissed her forehead, and looked down to see that she was red-faced and her breath was shaky. He couldn't tell how much of it was lust and how much of it was fear.

"I guess we should get going then," she said, picking up her bag with a weak chuckle. "Can't be late for Emily's slumber party or she'll freeze my bra."

The drive to Emily's house was treacherous. The wind was picking up and the snow had already begun to fall, clumping around the wipers on Jacob's car. As if the evening needed yet another element of danger. She was quiet the entire way, and he worried about leaving her with only Emily to keep her calm. Bella's car stopped in the driveway with a screech, and she hauled her bag into the house, bracing against the growing wind. They made their way inside, where Jacob was practically stripping down to his underwear in the hall before joining everyone in the living room.

"Hey, Bella!" Emily greeted her with a smile and a warm hug. She could read the energy around them, and gave Jacob a sympathetic smile over Bella's shoulder.

"Let me get you two some cocoa!"

No wonder she was the team mom. As terrible as Sam's split with Leah had been after the imprint, Jacob was glad to have Emily around to look after them. The way she seemed to skip around the house, her long hair that fell nearly to her waist, the joy she exuded from every pore, was a bittersweet reminder from years ago. He wondered how Billy could stand it.

The rest of the pack was already in their uniform, talking quietly among themselves and chowing down on Emily's latest baking creations. Sam looked up from his conversation with Jared to frown at Jacob.

"You're late."

"The roads were bad." He gestured over to Bella with his eyes, and Sam gave him a look of recognition. "If I crash my car then you'll be a man short."

Sam made eye contact with Emily, who nodded in return.

"Bella, let me take your bag. I'll show you the guest room."

Jacob planted himself on the couch beside them with a heavy sigh, and waited until he was sure they were out of earshot.

"Where is he?"

Sam looked over towards the window.

"Keeping an eye on your house. He's got free reign over the rez tonight. He's thinking the wolf smell will help him stay incognito."

Jacob bristled at the idea of that leech anywhere near his house, but at least BIlly and Charlie would be looked after. Just smelling him on the reservation set his teeth on edge, but it would be a small price to pay. At least Jake would have one less thing to worry about.

"How long before we head out?"

"About 15 minutes. We're starting patrols as usual. Everyone will keep to their usual routine until she starts following Bella's trail, and he will keep the redhead entertained until-"

They had returned downstairs and into the kitchen, where Emily was distracting Bella with apple pie and photos of her niece Claire, who had just turned two. She had a talent for lifting everyone's spirits, and he was grateful that she would be with Bella while they were gone. Where would the pack be without her?

He watched Bella in the kitchen, laughing and smiling and fawning over Claire, and tried to sear the images of her into his brain. He only had a few minutes left. He strolled into the kitchen and came from behind her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her cheek. She leaned into him and sighed.

"I'm so glad things worked out for you two," Emily giggled, making Bella blush.

"Yeah, took him long enough!" came a voice from the living room. "The constant monologue was making us all pray for death."

"Hey, Embry," Jacob retorted. "Has Maria called you back yet?"

"...Fuck you, Jake."

Emily's eyed moved between him and Bella for a moment before excusing herself to the living room. They needed at least one perceptive person in this group of dense idiots; otherwise there would be no peace. Well, less peace. He could hear the group beginning to stir. Bella stood up.

"Is it time?"

"Yeah. We're going to head out in a minute."

He brought her into his embrace, and she clung to him like a frightened child, burying her face in his chest. She's been wearing a brave face for the pack, but she wasn't going to be able to keep it up anymore. He watched her crack under its weight, and it broke his heart.

"Don't worry, Bells."

"You're kidding, right?" she sniffed, trying to mask her distress with annoyance.

"Ok, here's a better alternative: Be good and stay put."

"I don't like that either."

He sighed heavily.

"Please trust me, honey."

"I do trust you."

Sam was similarly wrapped up in Emily, kissing her all over her scarred face. How was he able to leave her like this over and over again?

He took his face into her hands and brought her eyes up to meet his.

"I love you, Bells."

"I love you more."

He crushed his lips against her for every second he had left, holding her so tightly he worried might not be able to breathe.

"Jake, it's time to go," Sam called.

He pulled himself away and kissed her hands.

"Wait for me."

He followed his brothers out the door and into the frozen black unknown.


	17. Chapter 17: A Girl's Night

The buffeting winds outside were making the house creak, mixing with their howling to create an unsettling noise that left her wondering if the pack would even be audible. Emily lit a fire to keep off the growing chill, and it reminded Bella of every moment she'd spent in his arms. She hoped it would be the last time she ever needed a fire to warm her.

Emily's preferred method of distraction was baking and watching movies, and so she spent the earlier part of the evening learning the finer points of baking cookies. After over a year of making endless, massive batches, she had perfected her peanut butter chocolate chip cookie recipe.

"I know you won't be the only wolf girl forever, Bella, but I want to pass on some extremely important information: the secret ingredient is toffee bits."

No wonder. Emily seemed to have a compulsive need to feed everyone, and had adapted her portion sizes to suit the pack, so she'd forgotten what normal portion sizes looked like. If she spent too much time with her, she was going to blow up like Violet Beauregarde. Emily was ceaselessly cheerful and sweet, and she was far too talented at keeping Bella's mind off of everything.

"What made you change your mind about Jacob?" And extremely perceptive.

"I didn't really 'change my mind'" she chuckled. "I think I always loved him, in my own twisted way. There was just something so natural about the way we fit together, even the way we make fun of each other. And after everything he's done for me...I guess he didn't give me a choice, did he?"

"Don't I know it," Emily sighed, her voice suddenly tainted with melancholy.

"Was Sam like that?"

"In a way."

Emily's unbreakable demeanor was replaced by something more quiet and somber, as if she were thinking about a dead family member. Bella looked down and went back to mixing the batter.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry."

"No, it's alright. It's important information."

"A while ago, Jacob said something about Sam imprinting. He didn't really want to get into it, though."

"Yes," she replied. "You see, Sam was actually dating my best friend for years before he first phased. My cousin Leah, actually.'

"Leah Clearwater?"

She should have realized that a tiny community like the reservation with an even tinier dating pool would have a lot of drama. She's always thought they were so close-knit, and the unbridled adoration Sam showed Emily made it all the more strange.

"The very same. They dated all of high school and for a while after. Everyone was sure they were going to get married. And then one day, the day after he first phased, he saw me at one of the bonfires and that was it. He broke up with Leah that night and showed up at my door the next day."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Imprinting is some seriously potent wolf magic."

"So it's like love at first sight?" Their world was complicated enough without adding something like this to the mix.

"More of a spiritual bond, like soul mates. Yet another vague tribal legend that turned out to be true," she laughed. "After that, you belong to each other."

"Do you have any say in it?"

"I suppose," Emily said. "The imprintee could just walk away at any time, but that's not very likely. It's hard to reject that level devotion."

"So he just showed up? Did he tell you he imprinted?"

"Nope. I had no idea what was going on with him. He started coming around all the time with Jared, helping me with my groceries at the store. He was so awkward and sweet...I don't know. It completely caught me off guard. We started talking regularly, seeing each other at parties, and that was it. I was hooked. The rest, as they say, is history." She smiled contentedly as she recounted their story.

"Did you and Leah ever…?"

Her face darkened.

"No. She hasn't spoken to me since. Seth says she thinks he was cheating with me. I can't say I blame her. We can't tell her about the imprint, and there's no other explanation we could give that she'll believe. I don't know if she'll ever forgive us...I really miss her."

Bella pondered this over the measuring cup of chocolate chips. Poor Leah. No wonder she always looked so unhappy. If Sam could unceremoniously dump Leah after years together because of some ancient Quileute ju-ju, then it could happen to anyone. The thought turned her stomach. Emily must have read her mind, because she immediately stepped in to comfort her.

"Oh no, Bella, sweetie. I'm sorry-I didn't mean to scare you like that. There's nothing for you to worry about. Really."

"I don't see how," she mumbled. "He could leave at any moment and it would be totally out of our control. I couldn't even be mad at him about it. It's not like I can just lock him in the house forever."

"It's not guaranteed even between us mortals, remember. No one is immune from heartbreak."

Bella thought of her father, the 'terminal bachelor.' Despite his gruff exterior, she knew Charlie was rather shy, especially around women. She didn't believe that he ever truly got over Renee. He was a mate-for-life sort of guy who thought he would have her forever, but Renee was too much of a free spirit to stay in one place. The divorce had made him too guarded out of fear of losing someone else. He and Billy seemed to have that in common. It was clear where Bella got it from.

Emily scooped dough onto the cookie sheets and slid them into the oven. The smell of the last batch was hovering over the kitchen, warming the entire house with butter and sugar. It was soothing; Emily's homemade aromatherapy.

"But like I said, there's nothing for you to worry about. It's already a done deal."

Bella stopped dead.

"Do you mean he-"

"Imprinted on you, yep. A while ago.

"That doesn't make any sense. When did this happen?"

"You remember the day we first met, when you came over with the boys for breakfast?"

"How could I forget," she said.

Jacob had tried to punch Mike, refused to return her calls, dropped off of the face of the earth, and then coldly told her they couldn't be friends anymore. The pain was unbearable, almost more so than her breakup. She was being abandoned again by another boy she trusted, her best friend and...something. She felt like she had fallen in a pit that she might never be able to climb out of. It nearly crushed her all over again. And then he turned into a giant hairy beast about 15 feet in front of her face.

"That week really sucked."

"I'm sure," she said sympathetically. "Jake had phased just a couple weeks before, and the adjustment was so difficult for him. It's pretty terrible in the beginning, you know: they have no idea what's happening and neither do their parents. Some of them just run off after they phase and it takes a lot to calm them down. They have to be separated from everyone but the pack or they could hurt someone if they I get too mad. Sam told him that he wouldn't be able to see you anymore because of the secret. More than that though, he was afraid Jake didn't have control over the wolf and could hurt you. It's a bit of a sensitive issue for Sam and I."

She looked at Bella out of the corner of her eyes on the scarred side of her face. She had initially been told that Emily had been attacked by a bear, but she should have known better.

"Sam says he was a total wreck. He thought about nothing but you the whole time. You two were doing so well and this wolf business just pulled the rug right out from under him. Then you came to his house to find him and BAM." She smacked her rubber spatula on the counter.

"I mean, there was a literal 'BAM,' too. He kind of exploded a few feet in front of me."

Emily chuckled.

"Ah yes, you never forget your first wolf explosion." Bella couldn't help but laugh as well. Emily knew how to lighten the mood.

"Well anyways, I'm glad you didn't give up on him. Everybody knew he was already head-over-heels for you before he phased, but now Sam can't interfere with you two anymore. It looks like even the spirits understand that the pack has to listen to their alpha, but even the alpha has to listen to his wife."

"But if that's true then how would he even know that he imprinted?"

"Sam says you know it when you see it. It's impossible to miss. And with Jake, the whole pack got to watch it happen in real-time. Embry likes to call it 'a cosmic bitch-slap to the heart.'"

"A real poet, that one."

This was a lot to take in, especially tonight. Soul mates, pack drama, old memories, and all of this new information about Jacob; knowing Jacob could stay by her side forever. But that depended on him making it through the night in one piece. It had been several hours already, and as exhausted as she was, there was no way she would be able to sleep until he was back in her arms again.

"Emily, how do you do it? Watch Sam go off to fight evil all the time and sit here hoping he'll come back?"

Emily's trademark smile faded, and she gazed thoughtfully out the kitchen window.

"I keep myself busy. I bake, I make food for when he comes home, I stress clean, I work on my garden, all kinds of things. The truth is that I never stop worrying. I just try to enjoy all of the time I have with him now." She blushed. "And all the time we will have."

She looked down at her hand. There was a white gold band around her finger that sparkled even under the dim kitchen lights.

"He proposed?"

Emily nodded excitedly and showed Bella her hand close up.

"Oh my god, that's amazing! When?"

"Three days ago. He wanted to take me out to dinner, and I thought it was just because we hadn't had much time together lately. They brought out the dessert and that's when he asked me. I swear, I think I fell in love with him all over again." She was blushing like a schoolgirl.

"But he wasn't ready to tell the family yet. Of course the pack already knows, but now you're the only other person who knows. They're happy for us, but it's so nice to have a girl to gush with."

Bella wiped her hands off on her apron and hugged Emily, who was practically bouncing up and down, and she couldn't help but bounce with her. She wasn't exactly the big wedding type, but it would be a great way to wash away this bleak, tumultuous year.

"I'm so happy for you. Sam is a very lucky guy."

"I know he seems a little gruff sometimes, but he's a wonderful man," Emily said. "He takes such good care of me."

"I think he and Charlie have that in common."

She opened the oven and pulled out the last batch of cookies, taking extra care to not touch anything inside. If Jacob heard that she managed to hurt herself while sitting at home baking cookies, she'd never hear the end of it. If he ever heard it.

"Well, now all we have to do is get through the night without going completely crazy. Eventually we're going to run out of things to bake, or at least out of butter."

That was still a tall order. Even between Emily's stories and her good news, Bella's heart still dropped every time she thought about the fight, or when a spoon clattered into the sink, or when the shutters tapped against the clapboard siding.

"I've got just the thing." Emily dashed into the living room and began rooting around in the cupboard under the tv. She held up a multicolored rectangle that was too far away to make out. A VHS tape? She hadn't seen one in forever.

"How about 'My Best Friend's Wedding'?" she shouted.

"You have excellent taste!" Just the sort of fun nonsense they needed. Light, fluffy, and zero action sequences. Everything always turned out ok for Julia Roberts.

They started the movie and settled onto the couch, which was slowly caving in from the constant barrage of giant men. They must have been using every blanket in the house to compensate for the fire, which had been fading while they were in the kitchen. Bella had packed pajamas back when she was still under the delusion that she would be able to sleep that night, but she didn't dare change even to get comfortable. Her boots and coat were waiting for her at the door, ready to throw on at a moment's notice.

Despite the underlying tension, having a girl's night felt good. She had drifted apart from Jessica and Angela since the school year began, and her dad wasn't one for Gilmore Girls reruns. She could tell Emily needed one too. As they had both discovered, keeping secrets this big for so long was not conducive to keeping strong connections to the outside world. She had tried to reconnect with Jessica and Angela, but it was never the same as before. Seeing Emily was like having a big sister around, and probably the only person that she could talk to about Jacob and the pack, as well as the topics she tried to avoid with Charlie.

"Hey, Em? How do you keep things with you and Sam...you know...private? With the wolf pack mind-meld and all?"

Emily gave her a bemused, knowing smile.

"Ahhh, I thought so."

Bella began turning red. She wished she could keep all of this between her and Emily, like real girlfriends. She wanted more of Jake, but he was probably still going to have to patrol with his brothers sometimes, even once Victoria was dead. Maybe she'd get over it the same way the pack stopped caring about nudity.

"It's ok, Bella," she giggled, patting her on the shoulder.

"I wondered the same thing back in the beginning. Sam says he had to learn how to block it all out, like Buddah-level concentration. They'll all learn to control it eventually, especially once the others imprint, and then they'll all have too much blackmail material to tease each other with. There's no better motivation to control your thoughts than accidentally broadcasting your sex life."

"That sounds impossible. I'm such an open book; I would end up spilling everything if it was left to me."

"Me too. Sam says when we first got together, he used to imagine a mariachi band playing in his head."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. It was the loudest, most distracting thing he could think of. It drove Paul and Jared nuts."

The conversation was suddenly brought to a screeching halt by a sound carrying over wind. A single, long, high pitched noise. She hoped it was just the wind again. The silence that followed paralyzed them both. The air suddenly exploded with a chorus of howling. Some sounded pained, panicked, enraged, and they were drawing closer. The exact sound she hoped she would never hear. Bella leapt from her seat and rushed to the door, stomping her feet into her boots and barely snatching up her coat before sprinting out into the snow.


	18. Chapter 18: A Kept Promise

She hurled through the air, landing squarely between his shoulders with a deafening crunch. A searing pain spread through his shoulder down to his arm, and he let out a wailing howl that echoed through the clearing. She latched onto him, clinging as if he were a bucking bronco. Her arms wrapped around his neck, waiting to snap his spine like a twig, but the pain would not relent, and his remaining legs gave out under him. He snapped at her, unable to sink his teeth into Victoria from where she perched. Slowly, his mind gave in to the pain of his wounds, and his world became blurry. He lunged pitifully at any shape in his view in a last-ditch attempt to free himself. Consciousness came and went like the breeze. His few waking thoughts returned to Bella; where was she? Was she alright? Who would protect her now?

 _Jake! Get up!_

 _Don't be a hero, Embry! Get out of there! Let me-_

 _-Jacob she's-_

The leech's weight suddenly lifted off of him, accompanied by a shrill, unholy screech that pierced his eardrums. There was a crack, then a booming thud of something massive landing that shook the ground beneath him. Howling, a yelp, the snarling of his brothers, and the sound of rocks tumbling down like a tiny avalanche. He could feel heat on his fur, warming his back as he laid motionless on the ground. His nose filled with smoke, wafting over a stench like the most disgusting incense. He couldn't phase back yet. He shouldn't. He was too vulnerable. He couldn't leave that bitch to his brothers. But his body disagreed, and he soon found himself back in his own skin.

He slowly came-to, trying to raise himself up onto his knees, only tumble down again under his weight. The entirety of his limb was useless, throbbing, and stabbed him with every move. Sam's groans of pain gave him a start, and he opened his eyes to see him soaked in blood, a large gash running diagonally across his chest. Paul and Jared were helping him up and heading towards the house, their hands and torsos covered in Sam's blood. A large redwood had broken in the middle, and the top was dangling dejectedly at the seam.

"Jacob," called a cold, familiar voice. "It's time for you to go back. I will supervise the cleanup. Quil, Embry, if you would be so kind…"

Edward was staring pensively into a stinking fire fueled by a mass of arms and legs. He was calm, his face as stony as the rest of him, and his eyes remained completely fixed on the flames.

"It's bad manners to keep ladies waiting."

The pain was slowly becoming more manageable, but a strange numbness was radiating downward to his fingers. The light was gone, and so was the smell. How had his feet been moving underneath him all this time? How was he even still alive? He couldn't remember. He was leaning most of his weight onto Quil, who had been chattering away excitedly in his ear about the highlights of the last hour, as if Sam didn't look like an extra from a slasher flick.

"...and then she jumped, what, thirty feet up? And I almost intercepted her but she just slammed down right on you."

"You didn't 'almost', dude. You barely got near her." Quil ignored his commentary.

"Did you hear Paul freaking out? I've never heard him freak out like that. I bet they could hear him all the way back in town. She must have fucked up your shoulder real bad to make you black out like that, Jake."

"No shit, Sherlock," he growled, hoping he would take a hint. He might be the first person in history to be irritated to death.

"And then Cullen pulled her off and slammed her into the tree, holy shit, that was the best thing I've seen all year. Split it in the middle like fucking Paul Bunyan. Like I know he's a leech and your girlfriend's ex and all that, but that was kickass."

It might have been the adrenaline, or the pain, or just the rush of emotions that had slammed into him like a freight train, but Jacob swore that he couldn't have heard him correctly.

"What did you say?"

"Which part?"

"The part about Cullen."

"He just grabbed her by the arm and smashed her into the tree and it-"

"No, dumbass. The other part."

"Oh yeah, she was on top of you and I thought she was about to break your neck, but Cullen got to her first. He almost tore off her arm after throwing her off of you. I thought I was gonna go deaf from the screaming."

More than the battle itself, Cullen had sent Jacob into a state of shock. He was a mess of contradictions: He showed up in Forks, but he didn't want to see her. He loved Bella, but he encouraged their relationship. He hated Jacob, but he saved his life. Was it even possible for a vampire to change? After centuries of watching the world go by, could anything really penetrate a monster made of stone? Bella was special. There was no one on the planet like her. Jake knew it even when they were kids, but he wasn't sure Cullen recognized that. There was nothing that could have made Jacob leave her behind when she needed him. He would stay by her side and love her in any way he could, be whatever she needed. But Edward was a cold and distant creature, and maybe this was the most natural way that he could love her.

Much like tactfulness or table manners, the significance of his question had clearly not penetrated Quil's skull. He gushed about the fight as if it were a football game or an action movie, with little to no understanding of how miraculous it was that they all escaped largely unscathed. This was his first real fight and, god willing, his last. They could probably be expecting to hear him recount it over and over again in the weeks to come, months if he was trying to win over a girl. For this first time, Jacob found having two older sisters preferable to one little brother.

He'd caught a quick glimpse of Sam before, who was now far ahead of them, leaving behind a trail of blood. The sheer amount of blood on him and on everyone else was a shocking reminder of what this job really meant, and how incompatible it was with a normal life. Love. School. Children. A real job. If Sam and Emily were going to start a life together, he needed to leave this madness, but as long as vampires roamed the earth, there could be no definitive end to it.

He was already regaining his strength and the feeling in his arm, but he knew it would still take some time before he was going to get full use out of it. Sure, they could heal faster than anything on the planet, but it wasn't foolproof. The muscles and tendons would repair themselves with little fuss. Bones, however, needed more time, and he did not look forward to the inevitable crack of his scapula resetting itself. Sam's laceration did not look too deep or like it had hit anything vital, but he had lost a lot of blood. Losing too much too quickly would still spell the end for any of them. This was somehow still all fun and games for his little brothers, but they were still kids. Sam had Emily waiting for him at home, and he had Bella.

As if on cue, he heard her shouting frantically up ahead.

"Jake! Jake where are you?"

They reached Emily's backyard to find Bella ankle-deep in snow and barely covered up enough for the weather. Emily was trying and failing to stay calm as Paul and Jared dragged Sam into the living room. The moment Bella saw him, she started running and plowed into him like a linebacker. Now it was Jacob's turn to scream.

"Holy shit, Bells, take it easy! I'm a broken man!" he croaked as she squeezed around his ribcage. Where did she learn to run like that? And how did she not hurt herself in the process? Bella instantly released him, her eyes brimming with frightened tears.

"Oh my god, Jake, I'm so sorry. What happened? Did she-"

"-Can we do this inside, honey? It's a lot better than standing up to my ass in snow."

"Right. Sorry."

He could walk on his own now, though not at his usual speed or swagger. She watched him like a hawk as he trudged into Emily's living room, where Sam was sprawled out on the couch, his chest covered in blood-soaked towels. Emily's eyes were red from crying, and she was frantically pressing down on his wounds as Jared tried to convince to her that Sam was going to be alright. He was woozy and a little out of it, but he was still smiling up at her, trying to comfort her. She held his hand tightly, sniffing and hiccuping as he spoke.

"Em, it'll be closed up by morning. I know it looks like I've lost some blood but I'll make more. Please don't cry…"

Jacob landed onto the nearby plush chair with a thud, which felt like a punch directly to the shoulder.

"Motherfucker!"

He winced and clutched his arm, trying not to move the affected area as much as possible. He leaned his head back into the chair, taking deep breaths as he waited for the pain to lessen. It's too bad Cullen didn't bring Dr. Fang along to shoot him and Sam up with some morphine. Bella immediately rushed to his side, her hair now wild and wet from the storm, and her eyes much the same.

"OK, we're inside now. Tell me what happened." She scanned his body for more wounds or clues. He didn't need to tell her about Cullen just yet. Between his throbbing arm and their mutual exhaustion, the situation called for some rest before he dropped a bomb like that.

"His shoulder is pretty screwed up," Embry answered, trying to temper his awe around Emily and Bella.

"Probably his arm, too. We think the redhead broke it when she landed on him. He looks better now than he did when we picked him up, but he'll still need to rest for a while before he can use it again. Try not to jump him just yet, Bella," he smirked. She turned red again.

It was only under the bright lights in the living room that Jacob finally saw the damage to the rest of the pack. Everyone seemed to have minor cuts and bruises, including Paul, who had a dark purple hand print on his lower back. Everyone was home in (mostly) one piece, but the tension had still not settled. They needed to get Sam patched up enough for everyone to get some sleep.

Bella carefully hovered over him so as not to bump him, giving him the deepest kiss they'd ever had. He could feel the residual wetness on her cheeks and the redness from Quil's comment. She was so beautiful, even when her face had been ravaged by fear and sadness. It reminded him of the way she looked back then, before those afternoons in the garage, before she came back out of her shell. It was something he thought he would never see again.

"It's over, Bells. It's finally over," he whispered. He reached out to touch her face with his good hand, bringing her forehead to his, stoking her cheek with his thumb.

"You should have been there, though! It was crazy!" Quil piped in. God forbid they have a moment's peace. How did he still have the energy for this?

"Right after she slashed Sam open, Jared and Paul went absolutely ape-shit. They just grabbed both ends and tore her in half like something out of Mortal Kombat." He mimed all the action in his recap with wild gestures and facial expressions to match. He'd almost had his spine snapped in half, but sure Quil, this was a great time for a play-by-play.

"I mean, she was already kind of weakened from getting slammed into a tree right after she got pulled off of Jake by C-"

HIs voice suddenly cut off, silenced by both Sam's order and the glares from the rest of the pack. Of course. He couldn't have waited until Jacob wasn't in pain anymore, or until he regained enough use of his arm to beat the hell out of him. That would have been way too easy.

Bella blinked. All conversation in the living room came to a screeching halt. Everyone was now looking away or busying themselves with something to avoid eye contact. She inhaled sharply as she began to piece it together. She looked into his eyes, her own reflecting a mixture of alarm, anger, and distrust. The jig was up.

"Jake?"

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back into the chair. He hissed as the padding made contact with his arm.

"Cullen was there."

She backed away. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and she looked like she had stopped breathing.

"What," she whispered, barely making a sound.

"He was here. He came to help the pack. He's the one who threw Victoria off of me."

He waited. He fully expected to get an earful from her or a slap to the face for keeping things from her again. Maybe she'd stomp up the stairs and slam the door, refusing to speak to him for days. Or maybe his name would bring everything back and make her cry again. The very thought made his heart ache.

Instead, she dropped his hand and turned to go out the door and back out into the snow. Now he'd really done it. He rose from the chair and tucked his arm into his chest before he began stumbling after her.

"Jake you moron sit down before you break something else."

Jake emerged out of the house, wincing as he tried to compensate for the pain caused by every movement. The lamps on the porch were the only source of light in the yard as snow clouds covered every inch of the sky. She was at the edge of the woods, shouting over and over again into the darkness.

"Edward! Edward, I know you're there!"

"Bells, I'm sorry, please…"

She shot him a look that pierced his heart. He was more afraid of her than he was of Victoria not an hour ago. She was the only one who had the power to destroy him from the inside out.

"Goddamnit, Edward!"

 _Cat's out of the bag, Cullen. Just come out and help me. Please._

The lights suddenly reflected a pair of yellow eyes staring back at her from the shadows. She squeaked. She still hadn't processed that that Victoria was dead, and there was going to be some old habits to undo once this particular ordeal was over with, and not just for her. With his usual grace and eloquence, he emerged.

"I apologise, Bella. I never meant for this to happen."

She frowned.

"What part, exactly? Leaving Forks? Coming back to Forks?"

"Both, but primarily you learning of my presence here. I asked the pack not to mention that I was ever here, but I see that they did not have much of a choice in the matter."

Her head whipped around to Jacob, who was trying desperately to hold it together. She wasn't going to go back to him, was she? Did the leech's heroics rekindle old feelings that she'd been holding onto this whole time? Was this all part of Cullen's game, knowing that he'd never be able to lie to Bella?

"I can assure you that isn't the case, Jacob. I think you know her better than that."

He approached Bella, who was still on the defensive. She seemed to relax, but she plunging temperature was making her shiver.

"Their promise to me what part of our deal. I would never show my face in Forks again if I was allowed to assist in the fight and if they promised not to tell you I was here. I feared it would only upset you. I'm happy to hear that he has chosen to keep his promise to you."

"Is it true then, what he told me? You saved Jake?" she asked, her previous demanding tone turning softer.

"I'm afraid so, though I'm not sure it's worthy of Quil's...colorful retelling," he replied with a chuckle.

He could not see her face, but he feared what expression it wore. He wanted nothing more than to put his arms around her, to shield her from everything. She'd suffered enough. He wanted to keep this secret longer for her sake, though maybe a little for his, too. But he couldn't take that choice away from her. Even without his promise to Edward, he knew she would want to know. Perhaps this would be the moment of truth. If only she would say something.

He wanted to trust her. He wanted to completely give himself over to her, no fear, no hesitation. He had always felt that way, even before the imprint, but there was a deep, primal urge to stand between her and anything that might harm her that he still didn't fully understand.

"Edward…" her voice cracked. He could hear something in her voice, something that resembled pain, or sorrow, or...elation?

"Thank you."

He smile, taking her hand and bending down to kiss it, like some kind of prince.

"Anything for you."

He rose, turning towards the trees, contented but melancholy.

"Goodbye, Bella. Please don't be too angry with Jacob. I have seen his intentions, and they were entirely honorable. He wanted to tell you from the start. He may be a dog," he smirked, "but he is a loyal dog. He may even be worthy of your love. Take good care of her, Jacob."


	19. Chapter 19: A Healing Period

The night was somehow even more exhausting than she had planned for. The hours spent waiting, the pack returning alive but broken, and now the further complication of Edward's involvement. Maybe Edward was right: maybe it would have been better not knowing. She could just allow herself to just be completely at peace with the knowledge that Jacob was home again and Victoria had been reduced to ashes along with the rest of her coven. No more vampires. That doesn't mean Jake was a hundred percent off the hook.

As she watched him disappear from her life for the last time, she wondered if everything she had told herself since that last time was true, that she'd accepted the past and forgiven him for his part in it. But as she stood in the snow, demanding him to show himself, she could not help but feel a surge of rage in her blood that kept her warm as the wind blew through her. This was her chance, her chance to spew all the venom that had laid dormant within her at the man who'd wronged her. And yet, she couldn't. In fact, she almost pitied him. He would go on forever with his guilt long after she was dead, but she hoped that perhaps someday we would find his own happiness that required no sacrifice.

"Jake," she called. "Let's get back inside."

Whether the tortured look on his face was from his injury or from the encounter, she wasn't sure. It seemed to register relief at Edward's departure, though he clearly knew that wouldn't be the end of it. But he had been through too much tonight, and so had she.

She took his functioning hand and they trudged back into the house, where much of the pack had been quietly chatting and blowing through the cookies. Sam was already sitting up again, though he still looked pale from the blood loss. Emily was not letting go of him for even a moment, and was sending the brothers to fetch water and food in her place. Quil and Embry had slung themselves across the remaining chairs in the living room and promptly passed out. Embry was snoring loudly, crumbs covering the fresh pink scars on his chest. Even in sleep he wasn't quiet. Everyone who was still awake turned to glance nervously at the pair.

"Everything alright guys?" asked Emily.

"Yeah," Bella sighed heavily, running her hands through her hair.. "I think I just need to get to bed."

She did not drop Jacob's hand. She led him upstairs to Emily's guest room, and closed the door behind him. He simply stood there, staring silently at her as she changed into her pajamas and fell backwards onto the bed. He seemed to be waiting for her still, too anxious to make the first move. She didn't like silent Jacob. It usually meant that he was afraid, and she worried that she was the one scaring him. As tired and upset as she was, she had no interest in guilting him about any of this.

"It's ok, Jake," she murmured groggily, tucking herself into the massive quilt that covered the bed.

"C'mon, we both need to get some sleep."

With some hesitation, he slid out of his shorts and crawled under the blankets with her. There was still sweat and small patches of dirt on him, but she was long past the point of caring. They'd get cleaned up in the morning and she would wash Emily's sheets for her. It looked like his arm was still bothering him as he shifted and re-adjusted his body on the mattress. she wasn't sure how quickly wolf bones healed. She wasn't sure how quickly anything healed.

She cuddled up to him, gently pulling him in to rest his head on her chest. As hot as his skin always was, he seemed to shiver under the blankets. He'd worn a brave face for her for so long that she had almost forgotten that he was even capable of fear. He looked tougher than anyone she'd ever seen, but that veneer couldn't conceal the gentle heart hidden just beneath the surface. The buildup to that night had been so long and so tense, and the comedown felt just as bad. He gave her so much: his support, his protection, his friendship, and most importantly, his love. Now was the time to pick herself up and give him the love and support that he needed. There was nothing she wanted more than to sleep off the entire ordeal, knowing that he'd still be beside her when she woke. Where he belonged.

The birds were the first to wake her up, followed by the sun filling up the room from top to bottom through the sheer gauzy curtains. There was no clock in the room, and her phone was too far to reach from the bed. She didn't need to know the time, anyways. She had all the time in the world.

Jake was still asleep, pressed against her back with his arm around her waist. She could feel his slow, steady breath on the back of her neck. Something else was pressing against her from behind as well, grinding into her every so often. There was no getting out of a grip like this, not that she ever wanted to, but a trip to the bathroom was in order. She carefully wriggled her way out from under her arm and tiptoed to the bathroom. He grumbled incoherently and rolled onto his stomach in response.

She had dragged herself into bed the night before without a second thought, and it showed. Her hair had dried in a weird way, sticking up on one side with the other stuck to her forehead, and there was still a bit of chocolate stuck in the corner of her mouth. Her night shirt had adhered to her body with sweat, an unfortunate side effect of having Jake in her bed. A quick shower was definitely in order.

After having scrubbed herself down from head to toe, she realized that she had left her clothes in the bedroom, and would need to leave the warmth of the tiny steam-filled room. She wrapped the towel around her and made a beeline for the bedroom, where she found Jacob stirring but still asleep. She dug through her bag looking for the extra clothes she brought and her underwear. She'd brought some of the nicer ones, even though she had no expectation of anyone seeing them. She was going to need to buy more cute ones.

She dropped the towel and began trying to put on her panties as quickly as possible as the cold air nipped at her skin. Her misstep made her hop on one foot as she struggled to get her legs through. Now she couldn't even dress herself without a catastrophe.

"What's the rush?" he said groggily, that stupid goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Oh _that's_ what wakes you up," she sighed, rolling her eyes at him as she pulled a long sleeved shirt over her head.

"Well yeah, my naked senses were tingling."

"Is that all?" she asked smugly, gesturing towards the lump under the blankets.

"You didn't give me much of a choice, Bells. Especially after _that_."

When she finished redressing, she climbed back into bed next to him, laying nose-to-nose. His eyes were a bit bloodshot from the strain and lack of sleep in the past week. His cuts had already disappeared. The truth was that he looked like hell, and it was going to take more than a shower to get him back to normal.

"How's your arm?" she asked softly.

"A little achey. It gave me some trouble when I was trying to fall asleep, but I should be able to use it sometime today."

"Good." She kissed his nose and pulled the covers up over their shoulders, her hand coming to rest on his chest.

"...Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

It was a fair question. She had tried not to think about it too much after Edward left, knowing full well that she would have to deal with it in the morning. She didn't realize it would mean first-thing in the morning. Truth be told, she would have much rathered to not deal with it at all, but that wasn't how she wanted to operate anymore..

"I'm not sure," she said. "The whole thing was such a mess. I guess I was mad at you for hiding that from me. I get why you did, but I didn't like it. I didn't enjoy thinking that your promise to him trumped your promise to me."

"It doesn't."

She looked into his eyes. She knew he was remorseful and likely conflicted about Edward as well. Maybe Jake was worried that he would try to take her back, or that she was reevaluating their relationship. Nothing could ever be simple, could it?

"It's good that you told me. Nobody else trusts me to make decisions. They just shield me from truth because they don't think I can take it. Everyone walks on eggshells around me like I'm going to fall apart any second, and then they end up either manipulating me or forcing my hand. Charlie, Renee, Edward, the rest of the Cullens, it never stops. It's hard to trust anybody when they lie to you or just leave you. At least this time I got to choose. And I got to say goodbye properly."

He let out a heavy sigh.

"I hated keeping it from you, Bells. I didn't want him here at all; I came close to tearing his head off when I first saw him. But he was tracking the redhead and knew how we could take her out, and I wasn't really in a position to turn down the deal."

"When were you planning on telling me?" she asked, her voice more stern than before.

"Well assuming everyone survived, I was waiting until the right half of my body wasn't broken and partially dislocated. Which reminds me: I need to punch Quil the next time I see him. I'll just have to do it with my left hand," he said.

She snorted and pressed her lips together, trying to stifle giggles.

"Don't say it…"

"... I bet you do it with your left hand a lot."

She erupted into a fit of giggling and he rolled over, letting out a long sigh of disapproval.

"I was _trying_ to have a mature, adult conversation here and you ruined it."

It felt good to laugh again, even if it was juvenile. She didn't want to be so serious anymore, and now she could afford not to be. And Jake could too.

"You were mad just a minute ago, remember?"

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eye. "I really needed that."

"...it's not like you have any room to talk," he muttered.

"What was that?"

She climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and running her fingers carefully along his chest. Without his jeans on, he was completely defenseless. But how cruel did she want to be this early in the day? Perhaps it was a bit too soon to be teasing him like this, especially in his weakened state,, but it was so much fun, and she was feeling especially nosy. He inhaled sharply.

"Nothing..." he mumbled.

She slid down to press herself on top of his chest, planting very light kisses up his neck, and she felt him shiver underneath her.

"I'll just have to get it out of you later, " she whispered.

"Then I'm definitely going to need full use of my hand."

She laughed and gave him a kiss before hopping out of bed. She could hear the clanging of pans and the oven door downstairs, along with the guys yapping and hollering. They really had no concept of an "indoor voice." She'd hoped that everyone would sleep in after the night they had, but there were no limits to Quil and Embry's mouths, whether something was going in or coming out of them.

"Come on, Jake. I'm sure Emily's working on breakfast downstairs. You know what'll happen if they get to it first."

"I think I'm going to need a minute, Bells. Good job." he said sarcastically, eyeing his crotch.

"Well at least we know _that's_ still in working order," she countered. 'Also, it was like that when I got there."

"Maybe, but you definitely didn't help the situation."

She rolled her eyes. "Just put on some pants and meet me downstairs. I'm starving."

"Let me at least hit the shower first, honey. I smell like a wet dog. I think they'll all thank me."

With a quick peck on the lips, she made her way to the kitchen. On her way down, she realized that she felt lighter, like everything that had been weighing on her for so long had vanished. She was smiling all on her own, not just because of Jake or social convention. Today was just going to be a normal day, the morning after a sleepover, where everyone was half asleep in their pajamas while the mom cooked breakfast.

The scene downstairs was not too dissimilar. There were fewer shirts, at least. Sam's chest has healed into an angry looking scab, and he seemed to move slower than usual, but he was undoubtedly better than when she had last seen him. Emily was somehow more chipper than usual, stopping to kiss Sam every chance she got, and Sam's cool exterior was replaced by that sappy smile that took over when they were together. After the night she and Bella had, she was surprised she had let Jacob out of her sight for even a moment. Though if she knew he would be up so soon after her, she might've convinced him to join her in the shower.

The others were very much themselves, which was comforting in its own way, but also a bit too much for nine in the morning.

"Dude, just because you made out doesn't mean she's into you."

"If she wasn't into me then why did she give me her number?"

"Probably as a distraction so she could escape. I bet it's fake."

"I swear to god, if you two don't shut up…" Paul growled, looking almost hungover with his hands propping up his head on the table.

"Morning, everybody," she said, stepping into the kitchen. She pulled out a chair for herself, and Emily appeared with a cup of coffee. It was probably strong enough to kill an elephant, but having something hot to drink made her feel better. She sipped and watched the brothers argue while she properly came-to.

She could hear Jacob's footsteps thudding down the stairs. He bent down behind her, wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her cheek before taking a seat beside her at the table.

"You two look happy," Embry remarked in his usual mocking tone. "Hey Jake, did you guys-"

"Enough!" roared Paul.

"Here, Emily, let me help."

Bella decided to avoid any further lewd inquiries by bringing plates to the table, piled high with scrambled eggs, toast, and ham. The milk was already half-empty thanks to Jared, who was still non-verbal. Too bad the rest of them weren't.

"So…" Bella began as everyone gathered at the table. "Does this mean that this is the last big pack gathering?"

She could hear the sadness in her tone. Now that the pack wasn't going to be patrolling and coordinating anymore, or at least not regularly, she might not get to see everyone like this again for a while. She'd always have Jacob, but she felt a certain kinship with the pack that she never had with any of her other friends. She knew she'd never completely fit in with the tribe as a white girl, but she still felt that perhaps there was a place for her, but hopefully not just because of the imprint.

"Of course not," chirped Emily as she loaded Sam's plate up for him. "We're definitely going to still see each other, but now it'll be less business than pleasure. I'm still doing movie nights if they don't eat me out of house and home."

As usual, she was an open book. Nobody had misunderstood what she really meant. Maybe they could hear her thoughts too.

"Yeah, Bella. You're a wolf girl now. You're in the pack. You don't need to be in imminent danger to hang out with us. You have an open invitation."

"Great," she said with a sigh. She realized she sounded more relieved than she wanted to let on.

"We aren't going to let you have Jake all to yourself. He's an idiot, but he's _our_ idiot."

She was grateful to be there. The first time she sat at that table, her life had been flipped upside down yet again. Jacob had nearly left her, albeit against his will, and now he was sitting next to her, holding her hand and looking at her as if she were the only person in the world. How lucky could she get?


	20. Chapter 20: An Overdue First

"Dad, really, it's ok. Emily is insistent."

Bella had been on the phone with him for almost ten minutes, trying to convince him that she wasn't overstaying her welcome. The pack was looking decidedly better than the night before, but there were still suspicious looking cuts and bruises that needed a little more time to heal. If the police chief kept seeing him looking like that, he really would start to think he was in a gang.

"The roads are still icy and haven't really been plowed. She doesn't want any of us driving yet."

Low, gravelly commentary was buzzing out of her phone. He was getting more lenient with time. He was taciturn to be sure, but Jacob could tell that what he really wanted was more time with Bella before she left for college. He could definitely sympathize.

"This is about dinner isn't it?...Dad, you aren't going to starve in one night...Listen, I'm going to be helping Emily cook tonight to earn my keep and she's promised to share her brownie recipe with me… Mhmmm, that's what I thought...Look, I'll be home in time for lunch tomorrow...Yes, I promise...Ok, love you too, Dad. Bye."

"That sounded painful," said Jacob.

"Like pulling teeth. You'd think I was telling him I'm moving in," she sighed, shoving her phone into her back pocket. "But even Charlie has a price."

The pack had no misgivings about camping out at Emily's house. The senior wolves were nursing beers in the living room, half listening to football game blaring on the tv. Emily had sent Quil and Embry to the store to get a few last minute supplies for dinner, and everyone was savoring the peace and quiet while it lasted. Jacob landed into the huge recliner chair in the corner, sliding over to one side to make room for Bella, who nestled snugly into the space. She leaned into him and rested her head on his good shoulder. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and rested on her back, pulling her in closer. He kissed the top of her head and buried his face in her hair.

"Hey, Jake?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

She wasn't asking about his arm. It had been one of the most terrifying nights of his life, both the fight and the aftermath. He came close to losing everything twice in the course of an hour, and he was still overwhelmed. A complex mix of emotions had taken him by surprise.

"I'm working on it," he replied. "The last couple days have been...a lot."

"What's wrong? I mean, besides the obvious."

He swallowed. "I thought I was going to die, and then Cullen saved me. Then the look on your face when I told you he was here...and when you ran out, for a minute I thought…"

His eyes squeezed shut and he looked away, breathing deeply and letting it out with a sigh. He promised himself he wouldn't do this in front of her. At least, not in the living room surrounded by his brothers.

He felt her arm snake around his waist, squeezing herself against him.

"Jake, I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?" she said, her voice soft and soothing.

"I do. It's not you that I don't trust, it's-"

"-Him, I know. I guess I just thought you understood."

"Oh no, honey. No." He stroked her hair.

He turned back to look her in the eyes. They reflected the same sadness and disappointment that he'd hoped he would never see again.

"It's not anything you ever did. It's all me. It's months of being so scared of losing you to Victoria or my own dumbass decisions that it all just stopped making any sense." His voice wavered.

"I never doubted you, Bells. Just me."

She raised her hand to touch his face, gently pulling his forehead to hers.

"You're the only one I want, Jake. You're the only person I've ever really loved, and I'm not going anywhere without you."

She tenderly pulled his face closer so her lips could reach his, and for a brief moment he left behind everything that had weighed down his heart. His fears and insecurities melted away under her touch. No one alive understood him the way she did. No one else could talk him down from a ledge or set his insides on fire. Nothing else in the world mattered but her. Was it possible to imprint on someone twice?

She pulled away, her face sweet but serious.

"I have another question."

"Ask me anything." He hoped he wouldn't regret saying that. But then again, he didn't have any other secrets to conceal.

"Emily and I were talking last night while you guys were out. She told me about what happened with Sam and Leah, with the imprint. How she became part of the pack. And then she told me something else."

Shit. Okay, maybe one secret. Not that was ever really a secret.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

He sighed. "It freaked me out. The whole concept, the way it messed with people's lives. I guess it sounds romantic and all when you're talking about Sam and Emily, but there's no guarantee that it will work out for the imprint-er. It just feels like a weird thing to spring on someone, you know? 'Hi, I'm in love with you and forever bound to you thanks to some weird fucking wolf magic. I hope that's cool with you.'"

She snorted and nuzzled back into his neck.

"Yeah, I guess it sounds kind of nuts when you put it that way."

"Honestly, it wasn't all that different from the way I already felt. It was just that first day that got me. It didn't really change anything, and I didn't want to put any pressure on you. You should come because you want me, not because you think you should. The upside is that it gives you some rights: You're entitled to our full protection, and you get my first priority, even over the pack."

"Jeez, I hope I'm worth it."

He laughed and leaned down to kiss her again.

"You are absolutely worth it."

She giggled and began turning pink again. She was so cute when she was embarrassed. And when she was mad. And when she was happy. She was cute all the time. How did he get this lucky? She was the only thing he'd ever wanted, and now she was curled up next to him, laughing and smiling and looking up at him with those big brown eyes that made his heart race. How was she ever going to top this?

"Ok, I promise, just one more question."

"Jesus, at this rate I'm going to have to clear my schedule for the next week."

If he made her roll her eyes any more than he had today, he ran the risk of making them pop out and roll away.

"How well is your right hand working?"

Ok, maybe that could top it.

As usual, Emily made enough food to feed a small village, and it made him wonder how she fed them all without going completely broke. Dinner featured the usual level of commotion, but with the relaxed atmosphere that they had all missed. Bella looked so happy, so contented with their company, even though he was ready to kill most of them. Emily was a saint for putting up with them for as long as she did.

But none of it could tear his mind away from the sly suggestion whispered into his ear, sealed with a kiss behind it. This was easily the biggest boner of his life, and it was making it very difficult to function. It had been over a week since that night in her room, with absolutely no time to himself afterwards and no sympathy from his brothers. If he wasn't careful, he might explode on impact. Not the way he wanted the rest of the evening to go.

Except for Sam and Jacob, the rest of the pack decided to phase and run home to avoid another night sleeping on the floor or the living room furniture. Most had skipped the morning shower, and a distinct funk hung in the air above the living room like smoke. But rather than enjoy the sudden and very welcome silence, Sam and Emily retreated to their room. After months of late nights and a brush with death, they had a lot of catching up to do.

Jacob laid on the guest bed while Bella brushed her teeth. It wasn't exactly the circumstances he expected: he's always pictured sneaking into her room at night while Charlie was out, stripping each other down to nothing before sliding backwards onto the bed. He would proceed with ease, guided by instincts and incredibly sexy noises she made. He was jolted out of his reverie by the sound of the bathroom door opening, and two tiny feet headed towards the room. It was at that exact moment that she entered the room wearing his shirt that he realized he had no idea what the hell he was doing.

Seeing her in nothing but her panties and his giant shirt was like catnip. Thank god he didn't have anything important going on anytime soon, because he was going to be thinking about this for weeks. She gave him that coquettish smile as she padded over to him, sitting cross-legged on the bed next to him.

"So, do you own pajamas?" She thought better of her comment and reached her hands out to stop his reply.

"Not that I want you clothed. I just imagine that an all-denim wardrobe isn't very comfortable."

"Well, I was hoping that maybe you could help me with that. The being clothed part."

She leaned over to kiss him behind the ear and along his jaw, landing at his mouth.

"Oh, really?" she asked in a low, husky voice. "I think I can do that, but I'm going to need some help, too."

Jesus Christ.

"L-ladies first."

"Mmm-mmm," she countered, nipping his lower lip. "Not an even playing field. Those pants need to come off first."

"Fine."

He sat up and turned over the edge of the bed, clumsily kicking his jeans off where they landed on the floor.

"Better?"

"A little. But the shirt needs to go, too."

She slid her hand under the hem of his t-shirt, teasing his bottom lip with her tongue as she ran up his stomach to his chest. Reluctantly, he parted his lips from hers for a moment to allow the shirt to slip over his head before wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her back in. She gave a tiny laugh against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand cradling the back of his head to kiss him deeper. She hitched her leg up around his waist, a perfect opportunity for him to run his hands up and down her pale thighs, finally landing on the ass that he'd wanted for so long.

His hard-on began to press against her, shamelessly rubbing up against her thigh. She reached down to just barely touch the skin above his boxers, and she could hear a short growlin his throat. She moved on from his lips to his earlobe, gently nipping down his neck to where it meets his shoulder. He wondered how long it took hickeys to heal on a wolf. As if he really cared.

Her fingertips moved further south, faintly tracing the underside of his package.

"I think it's your turn now," he said. "I want that shirt gone."

She giggled, and his hand found its way underneath, crossing her breast, then her collarbone, before pulling the whole thing over her head in one swift movement.

"Someone's impatient."

"Like you aren't," he growled, tossing her shirt across the room. He was almost going to miss it.

She landed backwards on the bed, now only in her panties, a small amount of heat rising in her cheeks. They were the same boyshorts she was wearing when he slept in her bed. How could he ever forget?

He held himself over her, taking care not to rest his weight against her as his tongue snaked down from her ear, to her jaw, and down her throat. He sucked gently on the soft flesh he found there. Hard nipples sat atop her succulent breasts, and he found himself cupping one in his hand before flicking his thumb over the nipple.

He could feel her heart racing from the pulse in her neck. He was anxious to tear everything off and devour her whole. His own racing heart was worsening the throbbing in his underwear, but he needed to hold back as long as he could. He was enjoying her far too much to let his hunger take over. His tongue traveled further down to her chest, letting his breath linger over her nipple for a moment before taking it all in with a flick of his tongue. Her breath caught in her throat and her fingers began to tangle in his hair like some primitive impulse. He sucked her in, groping the lonely breast in his other hand while he savored the whimpering of the gorgeous girl under him.

It was still pressing against her leg, becoming more and more impatient with the pace of their interactions. Maybe he should throw it a bone before the aching became too much to bear. As if on cue, her other hand appeared on him, slowly caressing everything over the fabric.

"I think it's your turn," she panted as he intensified his work on her breasts.

She didn't need to tell him twice. She yanked his boxers down as far as she could and let him kick the rest off. Now he was completely naked and too far gone to care about waiting to undress her. He practically tore off her underwear, making her bottom half jump and bounce back down on the bed. Now there was absolutely nothing stopping him.

"Jake!" she squeaked in surprise.

He smirked back at her before crashing back down and latching onto her neck, biting and sucking and making sure he had tasted all of it. Fuck that leech. Jacob was the only one who would ever put his teeth to her neck.

It wasn't long before she started pushing him off, and he rolled onto his back next to her.

"What's wrong?" Maybe that was too rough. In the heat of the moment, it was so easy to forget his own strength.

"You cheated, that's what," she pouted. "If you aren't going to play nice, then neither will I."

She pursed her lips and paused, looking him up and down thoughtfully. In just a second, she was pinning his arms down at the elbows, putting all her weight into keeping him in place. He could probably bench press her with one hand if he wanted to, but he was far to interested in where she was going with this.

She returned her mouth to his, her tongue demanding entrance with a quick swipe to his bottom lip. She broke away just as soon, kissing his chest, making a slow descent downward to his stomach. He was leaking like crazy and he was pretty sure there was not enough blood for the rest of his body at this point. But she kept crawling further down, slowly sliding him between her breasts before landing at her target. How long was she going to tease him like this? He watched her intently as his heart tried to burst out of his chest. She was staring back at him with that smile, that sly smile from their last encounter.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Her velvet tongue made contact, sliding up the underside at a torturously slow pace, where she finally met the source of the wetness.

"Holy shit," he moaned, rolling his head backwards on the pillow. The most beautiful girl on the planet had her mouth on him, and it was so much better than he imagined. He hated to admit it, but this was well worth the wait.

Up and down, over and over again, until she finally took him in her mouth. He inhaled sharply, then let out a long, low groan that made her giggle. The vibrations rippled through him, and he instinctively grasped the back of her head. He began thrusting upwards, careful not to choke her, but the urge to push her head further down was becoming harder to fight by the second. He could already feel the tension rising, her tongue swirling around him, bobbing her head as she took the entire length in her mouth. But what killed him the most was her enthusiasm. She wasn't acting like this was a favor to him or an obligation; she really wanted this. Oh no. She was looking right at him with those huge brown eyes. He couldn't take much more of this.

"Bells...Bella, honey...wait."

She let go of him with a pop and rested her head on his hip, smiling impishly up at him.

"Hmmm?" She drew one last lick up the underside before giving him her attention.

"You're doing that a little too well," he panted, stroking her hair.

"That sounds like a complaint."

"Not at all. Just wanted to remind you that it's my turn before you suck my soul out of my body."

"Oh, did you have something in mind?"

She giggled and sat up, staring at him curiously while she waited for what he was going to do next. He propped himself on his elbows and took a moment to drink all of her in; her neck, her soft mounds, her stomach, the delicious trail leading all the way down her body. He knew exactly what was coming next. Nothing had ever made him harder than the way she moaned the last time he played with her, the way she turned to putty in his hands. He was determined to make her scream before his dick even touched her.

He slid off the side of the bed.

"Going somewhere?"

"In a way," he replied, giving her a mischievous smile. "C'mere"

He grabbed her by the back of the knees and dragged them off the edge of the bed, knocking her over on her back with a squeal.

"Jake, what're you…?"

She looked up to see him kneeling between her thighs, and turned red. She was just as sexy from this angle.

"Oh."

He began kissing the inside of her thigh, starting at the knee and slowly working his way inward. He could feel his breath making her squirm, and he gave her thigh a long lick all the way down. She was so pink, and all of his efforts so far had left her dripping wet. He let his breath linger over his target before giving a single, languid lick, and she let out an airy cry. He pulled her knees over his broad shoulders and dove in, licking, sucking, and slurping lher juices. It was entirely possible that he would drown there, but he really couldn't think of a better way to go.

She balled up her fists in the sheets, arching her back upwards as his tongue swirled around her. His eyes panned upwards, watching her writhe and whimper with every stroke of his tongue. He might be a novice, but he could still do better than that. He took his hand from her thigh, stroking her softly until he carefully dipped his finger into her wetness, sliding in all the way inside her. Her eyes began to roll back with a ragged moan.

"Jake…"

"That's my girl."

His member twitched painfully. He needed to hear that again. He pumped back and forth inside her while his tongue slithered over her that tiny bundle of nerves. Her hands had moved on to his hair, tangling her fingers in it and pulling greedily at him. He pulled out, replacing one finger with two to fill her up. Her moans grew louder and more desperate as her body tensed around him. She was going to wake up the whole house if she wasn't careful. She was bucking breathlessly underneath him. She was so close, but the lack of oxygen was making him lightheaded. In one last move to bring her over the edge, he curled his fingertips upwards inside her, and he felt her trembling against his mouth. With one final painful grasp of his hair, she let out the longest, most intoxicating moan he had ever heard, and he almost came on the spot.

She released him from her grip and ragdolled onto the bed, heaving and gasping while he lazily lapped up the rest of her. He caught his breath and wiped of his mouth on the back of his arm, looking up at her with the biggest shit-eating grin imaginable.

"Holy shit, Jake," she sighed.

His knees ached from kneeling on the wood floors, and they cracked as he stumbled to his feet, landing on the bed next to her.

"This time I think you were _actually_ trying to kill me," he chuckled.

"Sorry," she panted, still red and breathless.

"Oh, it's worth it. Just make sure my exact cause of death goes on my tombstone so I can brag about it from beyond the grave."

"You'll do anything to one-up Embry, won't you?"

"Maybe. I've got a better reason, though."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Hearing you say my name like that," he said with a wicked smile that made her blush. How could she still be embarrassed after _that_?

"Well, there's still time…" She got on all fours and crawled over to the nightstand. He admired the view of her from behind. Even after the shaking orgasm he had given her just moments ago, she was still soaking wet. It was just too good to pass up. While she was fishing around for something in the drawer, he grabbed her by the hips and dove in face first. She was just so delicious.

"Jake!" she yelped.

Her arms dropped from under her and she fell onto her chest, her hips still held in the air. His tongue dragged up her slit once more before her put her down again.

"Yes?"

"You're being very distracting."

"What if I like being distracting?"

"I was looking for something," she said. She raised her hand up to reveal a small gold foil packet.

He knew this was coming, but he was surprised nonetheless. His erection gave another twitch. It was very tired of waiting. She rose back onto her knees, pulling him closer until her body was pressed against his. He had needed to feel her skin on his so badly. He took her face in his hands for a slow ,intense kiss that made him wonder how he had kept his passion for her locked away for so long. She leaned forward, making him lose his balance and fall backwards onto the pillows. He loved her aggressive streak, though maybe she was just a klutz.

She swung her leg over him just barely south of his arousal, which was so rigid it was painful. He watched her shaking hands tear the foil and slide the condom all the way down to his base. This was it, the greatest fuel for his fantasies since god knows when. Bella, _his_ Bella, was about to take his virginity, and he was more than happy to give it to her. He just hoped he could live up to her expectations the way she did for him.

She crawled on top of him and hovered on her elbows, smiling nervously down at him. She leaned down to taste him again, before guiding him to her opening and sliding all the way down.

" _Fuck_ ," he groaned. There was no air left in his lungs.

She gasped at his size as he filled her up. She felt incredible, enough that one wrong move could do him in. He'd have to take this slowly, but they were in no rush. Her lids were heavy, and after taking a moment to adjust, she lifted herself back up onto her knees and slowly began to move. He watched her breasts bounce, her long brown hair swinging around her shoulders. God, she was beautiful. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would see Bella Swan in front of him, buck naked, and riding him like a horse. She clutched her breasts, whimpering and mewling like a kitten as she ground into him. He grabbed her by the ass, lifting her up and down as she picked up speed.

The noises that escaped her mouth were the sweetest he'd ever heard, but they still weren't enough. His thumb found the nub moving just above his stomach and began to circle it, and he felt her tighten around him, gasping for breath.

"Oh my god...Jake...Jake!" she cried out as she climaxed, spasming around him.

The words he'd waited to hear since he first saw her were all it took. He bucked upwards for his last thrust, finally emptying himself inside her with a low, husky groan.

"Bells..."

He was seeing stars, as if she had actually screwed his brains out. She immediately collapsed on top of his chest, and they both gasped for air. He withdrew, allowing her to roll to his side, still pawing at his chest as she snuggled against him. A thin sheen of sweat coated them both.

"Wow," she panted.

"My thoughts exactly. I am a - _pant_ \- little bit disappointed, though."

She frowned. "How's that?"

"Well I - _pant-_ only got two out of you. I was shooting for three, but I think I got a little carried away."

"Christ, Jake. Who's trying to kill who here?"

"Just trying to even the score."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"You don't need to make it up all in one night, you know. There's always tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess there is."


	21. Chapter 21: An Epilogue

The sun shone down on First Beach, hotter and more brilliantly than she had ever seen. She was grateful for the half-day that the last Thursday of the school year afforded her, because she might not see another day quite like this until further into the summer. The entire pack had decided to take to the beach as well; Emily and Rachel were perched on the driftwood, chatting and making plans for the summer, interrupted every now and again by Emily trying to reign little Leah in for some more sunscreen. Quil and Embry had decided to swim, and were tossing Claire back and forth between them in the chest-high water. As per usual, Paul, Jared, and Sam had busied themselves with a case of beer under two massive umbrellas. The peace was disturbed only by the shrieks and giggles of the kids, and the occasional explosion of laughter coming from the seniors of the pack.

She strolled along the water, marveling at the clear blue sky that had graced them with its presence. She wasn't done for the summer; there would still be a lot of work to get through before school started again in the fall, and even more planning before that, but one quiet day such as this was a welcome break from it all. Time seemed to have stood still on this beach; it was almost exactly the same as when she first saw it, milking Jacob for stories about vampires and werewolves. Now she could at least let the legends be legends.

Without warning, Jacob suddenly appeared beside her, grabbing her by the waist.

"Goddamnit, Jake!" she screamed. "How long are you going to keep doing that?"

"Until it stops being funny," he grinned, pulling her close against his chest for a kiss. "Have you thought anymore about the trip?"

"Other than 'There should be one'?"

He let out a heavy sigh. "Come on, Bells. It's yours too, you know. If you aren't careful, Emily is just going to plan everything on her own. It's all she's talked about for months."

"I'm tempted to let her. I have to get the fall curriculum nailed down before we leave, and you know this isn't really my expertise anyways." She pulled out of his embrace and lead him by the hand further down the beach.

"Look who you're talking to. I've been on a plane exactly once in my life, and that was just to meet your mother."

"Who loves you, by the way, and not just because you helped her move the furniture up the stairs."

"That sounds like a pretty low bar to clear. I could be a monster for all she knows," he chuckled, resting his arm around her shoulders.

It was the late afternoon, and the temperature was climbing rapidly. She stopped to rest on a boulder that was still under the shadow of the cliff where they could observe the rest of the pack. She couldn't think of a more beautiful place to live. She'd lived in several other places, but Forks was her home.

"I'm guessing she's bringing Phil with her?"

"Yeah, the season doesn't start up again for a while so he's free as a bird."

Phil was always such a pleasant man, and perhaps the only one on the planet who was capable of keeping Renee tethered to the earth. She was eternally grateful that she would never have to worry about her mother.

"Actually, I heard a pretty scandalous rumor about Charlie going around."

"Oh, really? Do tell."

"Well I heard that your dad is bringing a date." She would probably never get used to the way news travels in the pack, but much like a game of telephone, it was very hit-or-miss.

"I can actually confirm this one. He's taking Sue Clearwater."

"Damn, really?" he raised his eyebrows. "I can't believe it. Quil and Embry were way off."

"Just keep it on the down-low for right now, ok? You know how Charlie is. It took me years to convince him to try dating again and the last thing I need is for your brothers to spook him."

"I promise. But I do reserve the right to give him shit for it when they get serious."

"I'm sure Billy's already on it," she chuckled.

It took him fifteen years to finally move on after Renee, and he seemed really happy. It was a refreshing change, especially since he'd been alone in the house for so long after Bella moved out. It was high time that he had a little fun.

She leaned her head against his shoulder, taking in the sound of the waves lapping at the shoreline and watching Sam try in vain to keep Leah from getting into trouble. She had just turned four, but she was still determined to put rocks in her mouth. He was just as devoted to her as he was to Emily, and it sometimes bordered on being sickening to watch. The real transformation had been Paul, which they owed almost entirely to Rachel. They were the most loving and hostile pair she'd ever met, but Rachel's fiery nature seemed to be exactly what was needed to keep Paul in check. They really were meant to be together, even if that meant Jacob would have to see him more than he normally did.

"So how is it that you can be here? You didn't close up early, did you?"

"Nah," he said. "Things were slow and I asked Seth to watch the shop for a few hours. Why, you trying to get rid of me?"

"Not yet," she teased. "If I wanted to do that, I could just start talking about flowers and china patterns."

He gave her a look of mock horror. "If you were literally any other girl on the planet, I might believe that. Thank god you aren't."

He guided her chin towards him with his finger for a soft, chaste kiss. After all this time, he was still her Jacob, the same goofy, passionate, hot-headed, gentle boy she fell in love with. She got to wake up in his arms every day, and there was no greater pleasure in the world. Well, maybe one other.

"I actually do have another reason for coming, though," he began. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Yes, I would date John Cryer if he would have me."

"Something with an answer that wouldn't completely horrify me."

"Shoot."

He exhaled, staring out into the waves to collect his thoughts.

"Do you want to invite him?"

"John Cryer?

"Beeells," he groaned.

It took her a minute to fully comprehend what he meant.

"To the wedding?"

"Yes." His face was completely neutral. He had come a long way since they were in high school, but this was completely out of left field.

"Would you really be ok with that?"

They hadn't even talked about him in years, except for the occasional email from Alice. Most of the family was in England attending Oxford. Carlisle and Esme were touring Scotland for their 100th anniversary. Where Edward had gone was anyone's guess, but he would check in with Carlisle every year or so.

"If you really wanted to, yes. I knew you'd still never ask me if you did."

Did she? It had been six years since they'd seen each other, six years without another vampire-related incident. Sam and Paul had even stopped phasing after they got married, with their younger brothers only popping occasionally to sweep their territory. If he came back again, there was a chance that it would sow discord on the reservation, something everyone hoped they could put behind them. Then again, the pack was still grateful to him for that night, so it was possible that they would be willing to do him a small favor such as this.

"It would be a nice gesture, but you know he would definitely come if we did."

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

"I guess you got me. In all seriousness though, if it's something you want then you should do it. I know the pack wouldn't love it, but I'd still support your decision. I still feel like I owe him the option at least."

But most of all, this was what she loved about Jake; they were equals in everything. He was completely transparent with her, and she always knew that he would love and support her, no matter what she chose. He was her protector, her partner in crime, and the person she trusted the most.

She looked out at the scene in front of her: Quil wrapping Claire in a towel, Paul planting a kiss on Rachel's temple, Jared chasing Leah up and down the beach. Peace had returned to her pack as if it had never left. Sam was home with Emily every night, and Paul would be there for the birth of their first child. No more boys would go through the hell that the brothers had.

"No, I think it's better this way."

"You're sure, Bells?"

"Yes. Everyone I need is right here."

He brushed her hair from her face and leaned in to crush his lips against hers.

"I love you, Bells, and I always will."

She was the luckiest woman in the entire world.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. This was my very first fic, and I'm so happy that even a few people liked it. I've started working on another Jacob/Bella AU fic, so stay tuned. I'll hopefully have a chapter out by March.**


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